I LOVE YOU MOM!

okay, first i'm gonna kick myself in the behind for once AGAIN neglecting the blog (gosh, me and my video games D:)

i'm gonna address the title of this post:
i know we're all thinking this. Rosanna, you're address to yeana made my heart all warm and i think it cried o__O this might be a little late (jeez, it is D: ) but yeana--> i agree with wendy's approach on the whole joking with her on what went on in china. You'll also want to let her know that you're definitely concerned but she doesn't have to run away from you 'cause you're not gonna give her a lecture or anything, you just want her to be careful on the crazy stuff she's doing. Personally, procreation isn't my thing, i know some people can get really addicted to it, and that DOES freak me out for them- cause it can screw them over big time. My friend got addicted to the feeling of IT. so she went around getting drunk at her parties and doing it (drunk or not). She clearly stated that she liked it, and i reminded her everytime that i was against it, and she had better be careful. She was, she used protection and everything. But eventually, she wasn't addicted anymore. It wears off and everything. Unfortunately for her, the guys that she used to be with still see her as that kind of girl, and she has a hell of a time getting them to leave her alone. So the conclusion: guys are scary, make sure your friend knows that D:

also, wendy :D i googled the drama asap, i'll get to watching it (;

another interesting tidbit, i don't need to read the titles of the posts as much to know who wrote which post :D you guys each have ur own "voice". it's like texts. XD i can hear and see you (:

this is just-----a rant? so unless you wish to suffer my similar brain fart, it's up to you if you want to proceed

okay. so i'm having a brainfart at the moment. system overload. all that junk.


...up in my trunk. all that junk etc
^black eyed peas...sorry about that. XD

yeah, so, system overload will lead me to continue this already excessively long blog post D:
losiento about that >__<

this started with wendy sending me this txt just asking hows it going and everything (the texts that you guys send me bring me back to reality (: )
well then, at first this was kinda hard to answer. what's going on? nothing really.
then i got another text a little bit after that, all it said was : Be my gf
my brain asks me: "err, [gf] usually stands for girlfriend, no?"
that was awkward. it was from one of my friends since elementary school D:
it doesn't stop there, this guy is...how do you say it? an asshole?
but at the same time, he can be really nice to me =="
it's like he's a pregnant woman with all of the moodswings he undergoes D:
we were never really close until we got to the same highschool cause then we took the same train and everything. At first, i could call his treatment towards me in freshmen year BULLYING.
I would go to the trainstation EARLIAR just to avoid meeting him cause he would change trains to my train
at lunch, he would take my food. literally, about half of it went to his own stomach, and he has money. go get your own lunch l:< once i got so pissed at him for being mean that i took my pizza and just sorta smeared it all over his arm. it felt good (:
so sophmore year, he stops following me on the train and all, he still talks to me- but he got nicer. he says crap like "i'll start being nicer to you" with a smile, and then two to three days later he's an asshole again.
then hallelujah, schedule change. we barely see each other, and that's good. we develope a nice friendly relationship in which we can actually get along well (:
and my gosh, he goes through a looooot of crushes. alot of fake girlfriends as well. he claims he had this girlfriend @ church, my friend who goes to his church and knows the girl said that he was senile cause that girl hates him for bothering her all the time. ouch.
he went through this one looong phase in which he liked my friend, said she was perfect and everything. i always thought they got along relatively well, except for the times when he acts like an asshole occasionally and she's there. unfortuanately, this asshole phase continues and she encounters it more and more often and she's a very active person (strong too, she has a good kick (: ) so she doesn't like him. she wants nothing to do with him. he goes complaining(crying?) to me ==" i felt bad for him at first cause he seemed to really like her >_o
he then goes through about three more well publisized "crushes" then comes back to me saying that he tried, but he can't get over my friend. the same thing kinda happens and by the end of the school year (sophmore) he says he found another girl he likes =="
oh. i just realized something. he said her name was michelle, i didn't know any michelles @ my school so i assumed i didn't know her. but recently, i remember him commented on the wall of my friend from a different school that i didn't know he knew asking her to hang out and everything and HER NAME WAS MICHELLE. ohhh. i just realized his. i'm rather slow.
yeah, so i'm HAPPY. he can go find a girl he's happy with cause deep down sometimes, he's a decent guy. his little sister's a genius, so i guess since he gets upstaged all the time that's why he acts so weird mostly.
i return from DC, he asks me to hang out and go on aim. my internet wasn't so good so i wasn't an aim person. i honestly already had plans so i couldn't hang out with him. i figured we were friends. he then calls me to tell me to go on aim. we can talk normally and everything and he's got a decent sense of humor. but really. a text asking me, er, that?
and the thing is, this has happened before, a friend going home with us who is also a childhood friend will tell me "oh, he likes you" and then say "jk!!" and we laugh it off
it was never really hard to just play dumb and pretend i didn't understand what he meant sometimes, i really really just want to be friends. and then he goes and sends a message in which you really can't be more direct with D:<
IM NOT HAPPY ANYMORE.
i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do D:
D:
D:
so wendy's text message was the trigger for this oober long post. i can't talk to my brother or sister. obviously not my mom. it's too embarrassing to talk about this with my other friends. but you guys are special to me.
so this guy can be a real jerk. but he can also be really sweet. we act like real buddies, joking around about the most random of things, and it's not too weird just sitting next to him in the bus/subway even in silence.
in my POV he's not bad looking, but not good looking (i'm biased. there's this guy that i liked in my school but we suddenly stopped being friends. that sucked. we stopped being friends when he started putting more effort into the way he looked and he just stopped talking to me.)
but i don't think i can think of him that way. i'm so scared of confronting him that my phone is on silent mode so i can sorta ignore his phone call >__<

i miss DC where we left most of our troubles behind and we had all we needed.
food
drink
harry potter
and friends.
tracy.