SAY NO TO DRUGS.

look up: "boogie maths" on youtube. it's this ridiculously insanely wonderful video. about math. at first i thought it was sweet. then i felt my heart die and fall to the stomach as it proceeded to scare the bejeezus out of me.

to my lovely fifth floor ladies,
boys are like drugs. say no (:

of course, that's just my rule of thumb ^__^"
i haven't had a past relationship like wendy and yeana because...well, isn't it scary?
the awkwardness.
the whole falling in love thing seems like giving away a part of yourselves. After leaving a part of my heart back @ DC with you guys, i dunno if i wanna give away the whole thing. it hurts.
besides. it seems like you guys get the nice sweet guys (even though the chemistry might be lacking for you ;__; THERE ARE BALLOONS.) i get my dear old friends from middle school nonchalantly asking me "will you go out with me" after i sorta reply no as a reflex they reply "oh. well, i was just joking anyways"
awkward laughter. and i have to go to school with these people.
energy can't be destroyed, only converted-right?
then what about friendship? it sure as hell didn't convert into love (sorry, i sorta caused that)
so where'd it go?
...fort minor "where'd you go, i missed you so/it seems like forever ...etc" :D
yars well. now to reply. XD

wendy:
it's a shame 'cause it seemed so perfect to an outside viewer D:
though i agree with yeana that you should go with him to homecoming at least, if there still isn't any chemistry then i support your decision to break it off. There's nothing wrong with wanted to find someone who could be the one!
and oh gosh, SATs D: like yeana i'm only taking the PSAT ^__^
i wanted to wait for my brother to take all of his SATs first and then i'd just take his old prep book instead of buying an expensive new one :D sat was also his SAT day, and his last one!!
i cried when i realized that he'd probably move out ==" so im hoping he'll go to cooper union so he can at least stay in NYC (:
maybe with a little explanation and time your dad will understand how important band is to you O: though i understand the whole "family is everything" mantra. what i don't get is that if it's "everything" then why do we not spend time together if we're not allowed out? doesn't seem like much bonding when we're all sitting in our respective rooms just...doing our own thing. it's a little lonesome, but i seem to be the only one thinking that in my family. my friend called me a rabbit cause i think if they're lonely they die. yeah, that's not morbit at all =="

i would like very much to see a picture of you in your fabulous dress after your event (:

yeana: maybe if you go to ny and i go to cali it'll improve our chances of finding that special someone D:
is it possible that your play will be on youtube? facebook? anything accessible over the internet to poor us all the way on the east coast?
also also, i have an album on facebook for it (NYAF 09) but since i was in costume i didn't take as many pics as my friend who has this gorgeous camera (the bulky professional kind....jealous) and was taking pictures of EVERYONE. i must nag her to put them online....<3
hahhah, my phone still has some of the texts from the last day of NSLC (btw i was wearing my nslc sweat shirt today <3 ) and i had texts from you and tucky, tucky's were filled with "love yous" and "miss yous" and when my brother borrowed my phone to text someone- he was just "...who's this?"
sorry, but i felt that rather than bust a vein trying to explain to him that it's a guy- but it's a friend- and really, it's just a friend! (a super friend, but friend nonetheless) i figured it'd be easier to tell him it was a girl.
"...who?"
"um. my friend from nslc" <--trying to be ambiguos, i didn't give away the gender. yet.
"the one that writes you letters?" <--thought about all of your letters +tuckys....i miss you guys
"er, yeah."
"the one from california?"
"yeana? sure..."
"you guys are so weird " *laughs it off with me*
i had a heart attack. sorry love, you're an accomplice to my crime ^__^

rosanna rosanna rosanna
i worry for you O:
donde esta? D:
in workshop we discussed plays, and we went over romeo and juliet for a mo'.
you remind me of juliet because you both are so beatifully literate when you speak and write.
im insanely jealous.
so satisfy my craving and write on the blog (:

^about that workshop, we have to bring a new piece of writing each week, i brought in a poem(i'm terrified of poems. this was scary for me to attempt. they're just so...hard.i go more for the fantasy short fiction ^__^)here it is:

A Love Letter

Dear firefly,

Touch my cheek with your gleaming light
(And) Kiss my lips with your spindly legs
Surround me with your faerie lights
(And) Save me on these lonely nights

Sincerely,
Me

*the parenthesis around the "And" means that originally it was in the poem but my teacher recommended cutting it out so it'd be "Touch, Kiss, Surround, and Save" but they give a sort of different feeling so i put it there so you guys could see it both ways (:
Also, what do you think of the "sincerely"? we discussed it, but i dunno. i considered changing it to "love" but i feel like that makes it so...insincere? just cornier. i mean, i know this is addressed to a firefly (XD ) but it's still a love letter, and if i were to write one, i don't think i'd be able to write "love, me (or tracy)" but instead i'd write "sincerely" cause i'd want him to know that these are my sincere feelings and i really meant it.
weird weird weird, i'm writing alot today D:
...my train of thought is hurling itself 100 mph today, i just remembered that my teacher mentioned that Emily Dickinson wrote these poems as well about bugs and she recommended that i check them out XD
gosh i'm out of it today.
im currently speed knitting in an attempt to finish a scarf as a bday gift for my dad. a hat or gloves would've been faster to make, but he never and won't wear those, i saw him wear a scarf once, but i think he lost it- so maybe this will work? then again, he hates me knitting so he'd probably take it and leave it =="
IM DOWN WITH 12 INCHES. IM A KNITTING MACHINE. IM. IM. IM GANGSTER.

*gangstah. one of my friends would joke with me, telling me that to say and type it properly would be with an "-ah" ending, for EVERYTHING that ends with "-er". so he was the "numbah one gangstah" XD XD
sorry. i've mentioned this before, but i'm out of it. who needs drugs when your body seems to produce them naturally? :D

sincerely,
with unspoken love,
that's still love,
tracy.