azn sensazn? :D

Hello everyone!

SUPER BIG CONGRATS TO THE ROOMIE-WENDY GUGU. FOR FINISHING APPS AND ALSO FOR GETTING INTO GEORGETOWN. YOU ARE A BEAST, WOMAN. GO PLAY AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!! ^0^ :] you totally deserve it-getting in and going out playing. :D

I also finished apps. :D

Where is everyone else? :'[

Done.

I am finished with my college applications.

My life is somewhat complete now.

Even though I have to wait three months for the decisions...

....but I don't even care at this point.

I've spent the past three, almost four, years of my life working up to this day....

I'M FINALLY FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Just wanted you guys to be ones of the first to know. <3 you all.

WENDY

Merry Christmas!

I know I am a day late, but I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas! :]

It bothers me that materialistic presents are what everyone cares about these days. Regardless of your religion, Christmas is nonetheless a holiday for family and love. People are too selfish these days. It disgusts me.

I don't know why, but I've been feeling very cynical these past few days. I just feel like everyone around me is so immature and just plain DUMB. Maybe I'm in the wrong, but who knows?

Anyhoo, it was great hearing from you, Yeana! My break started this past Thursday and I am so excited first semester is finally over!! I recently found out that I have been accepted to the School of Foreign Service at Georgetown! I am just thrilled, because now at least I know I am going to attend a top college no matter what. I have three schools left, and have to finish by Jan. 1st. I know it seems like a very short time to finish everything, but I have confidence in myself.

This school year is moving by so quickly; it seems unreal! I can't wait to finally relax during second semester. The IB work will be killer, but at least I won't have college apps looming over my head.

Alright! I hope to hear from all of you soon. I miss you all soooo much!
Once I'm done with these apps, I'll have more time to blog. :]

<3 you!
WENDY

:D

Hello ladies!!

How was first semester for everyone? How are college apps going? I still have many left so I'm racing to finish those :[ HOW IS EVERYONE???

I am on my first weekend of break! Sadly, sickness has decided to visit me now and confine me to my bed. w00t.

Anyways finals sucked. I literally could not understand half of my Spanish final so I'm excited to see what that will do to my grade. Everything else was okay-ish though so I think I'll be safe for a large portion of my classes.

Winter formal was amazing! Pictures are on my facebook for y'all to see. :] My date got into Stanford on early action (;LGAKHDLKFJAD) so my parents were thrilled. lolz. As if I'm going to marry him or something. Anywhoo, the DJ was awesome so the music was great - none of these super weird rap songs that nobody can dance to. I mean, if you like that kind of music go ahead and listen to it, but at a dance? really.

How are you guys doing? :[ sorry about not posting very much...hopefully that will change with second semester :D

love, love, and even more love,
Yeans

HELLO! :]

Hey girls! I've missed you all sooooo much. :(
Been going through some ups and downs, and right now, I don't even know where I'm at anymore.
Just went through a period of MAJOR STRESS; a bunch of IB papers were due last week and it was just HORRID. The work load has calmed down a bit, so I am greatly thankful. For now, I am focusing on my college apps. I have three done (lol), and should be sending in two more this weekend. I HEAR FROM GEORGETOWN NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!! I applied Early Action to the School of Foreign Service, lol. *sigh* I am extremely anxious right now and it's the only thing on my mind. Honestly, it's not even my "top choice" but I feel like this decision is the turning point of my high school career...if I get accepted, I'll have a new found confidence that will push me through the rest of my apps....if I get deferred, I'll feel miserable, because honestly, if I can't even get into Georgetown, Harvard and Yale become basically jokes. Get my logic here?!
So I'm freaking out, being anal retentive about EVERYTHING that has to do with college.
I am honestly not expecting an acceptance this upcoming week, but it would sure help the rollercoaster I'm living now. Lol.

Moving on. Things have been unchanged, really. I'm trying to enjoy my senior year while handling all of this. Marching band season is now over (sad face) and back to training for tennis season (fail).

I want to hear from you guys! How have you guys been??

Miss you so much!
<3 WENDY

HAPPPPPPY[belated]BIRTHDAYYY!

Oh my wendy love!

I'm so sorry I missed your wednesday D':
Yesterday when I got home I went on facebook for just a moment before I crashed and fell asleep :(

Congrats on 18 babe,
& I saw your homecourt(?) picture- You look gorgeous as always (;

BY THE WAY. I ADORE YOUR DRESSES. THEY ALL LOOK FABULOUS ON YOU.

I can't help but wonder if you went to disney land :'D

Love Always,
Tracy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENDY!!!!!!!

WEN, oh my Wen,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You are now 18, which means you can vote (you missed election day by a week!) and you can buy cigs, so go do that basically becasue you can.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you
Hapy Birthday dear Wendy
Happy Birthday to you!!!

I love and miss you tons!

Rosie

HEY GUYS!

So, I have been in a much better mood since my last post.
That was just...depressing. Lol.

I am happier now. I've taken my LAST SAT, and I am confident that I reached my goal. :]
Also, I just had my first college interview today...and guess for which college?!

GEORGETOWN!

I talked about NSLC, and how I found out about the college through a tour during the camp. ^.^
Ahhh, nostalgia!

I'm applying to their School of Foreign Service. It's extremelyyy competitive, so I doubt I'll get in. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed! As far as college apps go, I haven't "finished" any of them. Most of my friends are almost done, since the state universities' deadlines are Nov. 1st. *sigh* I'm guessing all of us are going to be working until Jan. 1st, though? -__-

Anyhoo. Other than that, life has been less stressful. School hasn't been too bad, and we are having a great marching band season! We just had our first competition and qualified for State semifinals! I am SO excited for that.

Hmm, what else...
Oh, Homecoming is next month. One of my good guy friends asked me today, and I said no. :/ I feel like such a JERK for rejecting him, but really, I wasn't even planning on going with a date. And I don't really like him, like that...
He's liked me a while, so I figured, if I said yes, I would just be leading him on. I don't want to do that.
But now I feel really horrible, because he's so sweet. *sigh*

So that's meee, lately. I want to hear from you guys!
Miss you all!

<3 <3 <3
WENDY

FIGHT-O!

Dear Rosie-anna,

Yeah, school is hitting me unexpectantly hard O:!

& goodness! FIGHT-O IN AP ENGLISH D':
I understand what you mean about how it's wonderful and the class goes by like THAT. But at the same time there's so very much work :'D Last year I disappointed myself handing in a lackluster essay or two because I simply could not put together my schedule to fit everything and that made me quite sad D':

Best of luck in your auditions \(^0^)/

& rosanna.... it's a big world out there. Although I think you should resolve any issues laura has with you- I also think you shouldn't let it bug you too much.

The same to Wendy.
I'm honestly surprised. I didn't know that there could be such a big difference between schools.
In my school... a lot of people have a stick up their ass. (not you. don't worry. you're very chill compared to their ravings.)
So wendy love, you're actually just like a lot of normal people at my school! yay! & your mindset about it all being over once you get through the apps is exactly like mine. I've told firends that i wont have much time to be with them until after apps- and they all understand because they're all doing the same things.
the interesting thing is, even my friends outside of school understand- they know how improtant college is to me and they don't question it. they just tell me to call them after i finish so we can party (though i don't htink i'll be doing that nonetheless, they party rather hardcore >__>)

but yeah.
ladies,
FIGHT-O.
don't let it bother you too much, 'cause we're all troopers.

Love Always,
Tracy

Hi from Lando.

Hi ladies!

I've been missing you guys a lot lately. People don't really "get" me down here.
I don't know how to explain this feeling I have right now. I guess it's a feeling of loneliness. Idk, I feel like I don't really have anyone to rely on these days. My friends keep on disappointing me. See, lately I've been focusing a lot on college apps and SAT studying. I keep on telling them, after Jan. 1st, all this hell well be over, and I will be able to relax. Most of them don't get it though, because they're only applying to like, 2 Florida schools, whose due dates are as early as Nov.1. So they're all fine and dandy but I CAN'T do that. I'm applying to like 10 schools, all out of state. They're not applications that I can just slap together; I have to work hard, and I have to make sacrifices. My friends don't understand that. And some of them humiliate me just because I can't hang out on a Friday night. It's ridiculous, and I'm so tired of it. I tell myself that it'll all be worth it at the end, but then I always feel left out or lonely when my friends are out doing whatever, thinking I'm some loner who just studies all night long. I mean, they must think that about me.
I don't know why it affects me, because I know it shouldn't. I know my expectations, my priorities. I want to settle for something much bigger than what most people here would settle for. It's hard getting there, though, and I don't have the support I need.

I don't know, I just feel really emo right now, hahah. I was fine these last couple weeks, until one of my best friends said yesterday that I have a "sad life". That's just...I don't know even what it is.

I don't live a sad life though. I'm very happy. I have a great family, and I actually do something with my life. I have passions and aspirations. I don't just sit around watching Taiwanese dramas all day. I just think it's ridiculous how my friends think that just because I don't have time to party means that my life is "sad".

I need some help, guys. I don't even know what to do anymore. I mean, is all of this even worth it?

Hope to hear you girls soon.

<3 WENDY

It Has Been A While

Hey Girlies!!

I am sorry that I haven't blogged lately, school picked right up starting the first day... so I am going to update you on the happenings!

Tracy- It was nice to hear from you! Hopefully you can write another post soon! And that is awesome about ED!! I have a friend that goes there and loves it!

Yeane & Wendy - I hope that everything has been going well! I am constantly thinking of the three of you!

So here's what's up with me:

I am a tad stressed. So I planned on taking some challenging courses this year, some medium courses, and then some mad easy courses. But this didn't exactly work out the way I had thought it would....

AP Gov/Eco and AP Stats - check.
Physics/Spanish 5/Chorus - check.
Easy english classes, Sociology. no check

So I was supposed to cop out on enlgish this year, well that failed. My schedule was all messed up. So I went to my not-so-helpful guidance counselor and talked to her to see what I could do. I would up transffering into Reading Literature, an english class that I get college credit for. Wwll, I do not l=know what this teacher was on becasue that class was 9th grade level. I read this really god, but long and dull summer reading book and we spent the first seven days goin over plot, summary, setting and characterization. WTF?!?!?!?! So I talked to the English Supervisor and discssed transffering up into AP Englsih, which is all fine and dandy, I just transffered into the class today and know my teacher well, but I am drowing in make-up work. I ahve to read 3 of their summer reading books, write 2 essays and lead a group discussion on a book i haven't read yet... wonderful. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, I am just complaning to complain at the moment.
And for Sociology, I just had to give, so instead I am going to one of my districts elementary schools a few times a week second semester and teaching them Spanish! I am sooooo excited!

I am college visitng /app-ing like nobody's buisness! I am travelling to Penn to look at 4 schools in October, I want to apply to about 15 right now, so I got to get that list down!! I want (for now) to major in Buisness Admin / management and Education (secondary) Hopefully it will get me to where I need to be in life!

Other than that, I have 3 auditions in the next to weeks and I am applying for this internship vocal thing, which onyl accepts 8 highschoolers. ugh :/

Laura avoids me like the plague in the hallway, but I am over it, I just wish that she would be becasue we share the same friends, well, some of them at least.

On that note, got to go read. I know I basically told you nothing, but hey, what can I do? I will write more after you all blog!!

love you!

Rosie

SENIORIFFIC!

you know, I think we keep putting off blogging because there's simply so much to say- and the words just keep building up.
if anything, that's what always happens to me >__>

hello ladies (:

I miss you all /:

My schedule for school is simply senioriffic...lol
I have the first four periods of school free, as well as the tenth period
i usually spent two or three of those frees hanging out in a teacher's classroom- he's extremely awesome and I learn a lot just hanging around him so yay
I've been staying on top of all of my things to do :'D

and ohnoes
the dreaded: COLLEGE ESSAY GAH

the draft is due this monday in my lit class TT v TT

I'm thinking of applying ED to a SUNY, Stony brook
Anybody considering applying to somewhere nearby?
(nearby = 2 hours or so apart (': )

Some words are better than no words,
Tracy

Hello from Lando!

Hi, my beautiful ladies! I have successfully finished my first week of school.
JEEZ.

School is...school. I'm *kinda* excited about senior year, but not really. Haha. Apparently IB is complete hell this year, and added with college apps and extracurriculars, I'm prepared for a wholee lotta breakdowns.
I tell myself though, just one more semester, and I'm free (well, kinda). If other people can do it, so can I! I try to give myself motivational boosts. Sometimes it works and sometimes it just utterly fails.

ANYHOO.

My summer was fantastic. I did an internship at NBA China in the business development/marketing department and absolutely LOVED it. It was just the atmosphere I wanted. People there were so worldly, so motivated and just smart! I loved everything about Beijing. Yeana, I was also thinking about studying International Law...I want to study international ANYTHING, really. I kind of even want to be a diplomat in the future.
Idk, my time in Beijing just really opened my eyes. I can't really explain it. I'm going to have to in my personal statement, because I want to incorporate my experience there in my college essay. I just need to find the right angle...and the right words to express it. *sigh*

So Land O' Lakes is realllly boring. I'm kinda sorta looking for a boyfriend too. I actually met this really cool guy at band camp. He's one of the instructors, but mainly helps me with my conducting. He just graduated and goes to a nearby state university. He was drum major of his band too, and is a FANTASTIC conductor. I'm very lucky to have him help me! I just had a great time with him at camp; he's so down to earth and cute! Hehehe. We'll see how things go with him...

Alright, in response to y'alls posts...

Yeana, I am deeply sorry that you hurt your ankle. :( Is it getting better?? It must suck to miss out on you senior season, but I think you should stay with the team anyway, even if it is to be just manager. You've put so much hard work into volleyball in these last few years that you deserve to stay on the team...even if you're not on the court. However, I wish you a speedy recovery and that you miraculously heal before the season starts. Don't lose hope!! I'm glad that you had a good time at Stanford, btw. :D

Tracy, I miss you so much. I know you need your time, but I reallly want to help you. I feel useless when you're going through all these problems and I'm just sitting here, doing nothing. Please talk to me if you ever need to. Really. <3

Rosanna, your initiative in your extra creds are going to SHINE in your college apps! I envy your passion. As for the friends issue...be friends with who you WANT to be friends with, not just those who you feel like you SHOULD be friends with. If you truly trust someone, tell them. People are people. Though I do find traditional students a bit less mature than the IB students in our school, if you have found a genuine friend, then it doesn't matter what classes they take.


As with me, I am just taking one day at a time. I'm realllly stressing about college. I desperately need to start working on my essays. How far along are you guys, btw? It's only August but I feel so behind, haha.

Blahh. I've been psycho these days. Summer was too short.

I miss you guys terribly. :(

Write soon!

<3 WENDY

I wish I had a trade mark title ....

Hey ladies!!!

So I have been checking up and reading all of your blogs and what not. And, of course, I have some repsonses!

Yeana - I am thrilled that you had such a good time in Stanford, and I saw albums with you and Cynthia! I am so sorry about your ankle, that sucks. And I understand what you are saying about a little piece of you dying inside and it hurting, but I have a feeling that volleyball is way too important for you to dump to the side. Just do what your heart tells you, Don't let the important things go, ok? And when do you start school (if you haven't already)? And isn't your birthday coming up?

Tracy - What do you mean when you say that you removed yourself from society? becasue that is cause for concern (in my mind atleast). So whats the haps??? I want to know what is new and exciting (or maybe not so new nor exciting :/) in your life! :)

Wendy - You are almost halfway done with your first week of school. You got this girlie! Hang in there, it will be the weekend soon enough!

As for me....

I am already planning school year extra-cirriculars, and even stuff for next summer! As I have told Wendy, I have been a tad stressed out about a few things, but as the school year seems to be quickly appraoching, I am learning just to take everything in stride. But my schedule is cause for concern, probably like your guys' are. My acedemic schedule was flipped upside down this summer because of scheduleing issues and my idiot guidance counselor, but what else is new? Extra-cirricular wise, I have a feeling I have over extended myself a tad. But I think that is all part of life. No? On top of everything I did last year (I really don't want to list them) I have added paino lessons, planning of E.C. Camp (special needs) fundraisers and re-vamping, basically the entire camp with the program director (I am her assistant) becasue it is the 10th Aniversary next year!
Have you guys heard of Rachel's Challenge? Well, if not, it stems from the first victim of the columbine shooting, Rachel Scott, and how she knew, even then, that she would touch, and change the world somehow. Even after her death over 10 years ago, she still is touching the lives of people today through the program her parents set up; racheal's Challenge. This program came to my school 2 years ago, and many service clubs have started becasue of it. Well, the woman who I run EC Camp with, she approached me about doing something like this but at my elementary school. She wanted to start a service club called the Kindness Club, where we will join the school community, but hopefully our geographical communtiy as well. So I am going back to elementary school to start this club! And I am actually very excited about it!!

College is college, I am visiting schools like no tomorrow, but I fell in love with one school, Holy Cross. It is a small liberal arts school and I just have that feeling, but I know that I probably shouldn't be set on it. But too bad, for now, nothing I have visited has topped it so it is staying at the top of my list.

During my play over the summer, I got very close to someone I have known since freshman year, but was never more than a 'friend'. And now I am glad to say that we are very close and she is helping me understand and put everything in perspective with the friends I think I have lost. I am actually going up to her house in the Adirondacks for a bit at the end of the week! But while the stuff she has made me realize is 100% true, I am still having trouble moving on becasue I want to know what happened with this other group. I am not one to just pick up and be ok with it and move on, After all these 'friends' are the kids I have all my AP classes with, they are the ones that I will have to deal with all year because the other friend group I have got closer to aren't exactly in my classes, they are in the Honors courses, one level underneath me, And I don;t mind that at all, please don't take it that way, but I am confused in if I should approach certain people and talk to them about how I am feeling or just let it go and take this year as it comes. Becasue I want to do the latter, I really do, my mind is telling me to, but my heart is telling me not to becasue it doesn't know if I can take the heartbreak all over again,

So I think that is it from me... I feel like I just vocalized everything that has been whizzing through out my head the last few weeks.

I want to hear from all of you so please, BLOG!!!

With Love,

Rosie

a hey and a ho from californi-o

Hello everyone!

In between catching up on summer homework that should have been done a long time ago, looking at but not working on college applications, and freaking out about life, I've found time to write. :]

I hope everyone is doing well...

Anyways, I was in Stanford for three weeks and saw Cynthia! It was nice seeing her after a year...I wish you guys had been there, too.

We learned a lot about law; it wasn't like last year at all. I think last year we just learned about the process of mock trial; this year we learned about various types of law and a few things you can do with a law degree. I'm reconsidering law...I still don't want to be a lawyer, but after learning about international law and the international criminal court, I'm really reconsidering. It sounds like a way to really help the world. I just need to go to law school, get the grades I need, and learn French. =.= Chinese won't hurt, either. Sigh.

------

While I was at Stanford I ran a lot; our coach told us that we needed a mile of under 8 minutes, so I was training for that. But while I was out running, I sprained my ankle- really badly. It's been almost a month since I injured it and it's still not back to normal. I talked to my coach...and he won't let me play, much less try out.

I feel like a piece of my heart just disappeared; I've played for the past three years, and it's my senior year now. I wanted so much to celebrate my senior year with a great season...we had plans to work hard and go to states together, to have a kick-ass season, to win our senior night game. Now the other girls will do that...without me.

My coach told me that I could help out the team as a manager of sorts...but every time I see the girls playing without me, I feel emptier and emptier inside. It just...hurts.

I don't know what to do.

-------

On a side note, I'm still looking for a boifraand.

-------

Keep writing, ladies...I always do check back.

Love,
Yeana

mudpies

Dear Ladies,

I haven't known what to say.
& honestly, I've been living in a mudhole away from the rest of the world for a while.
But I promised myself to pull out of it tomorrow and reconnect with people, and I would like to start early with my lovely fifth floor ladies (':

China and Alaska sounded wonderful ;__;
I wonder if it's the location that induces the euphoria
or really just the feeling of escape from where we live
an escape from everything in our lives to somewhere unfamiliar that entices us
Someone in China might find life dull and mind numbingly hectic
and a vacation in Florida might be paradise to them

Rosie-anna,
I did however read the post about your family friend.
I haven't found god yet.
But my heart certainly went out to them.
It still does, and my heart continually goes out to all of you.

Ladies, I took two weeks off from society.
I think another two weeks to gradually return will give me enough time to put what I need to say in words to the important ladies in my life.

I'm not ready to return to people in general
but sometimes things have to be done whether you're ready or not- right?
Tracy

Quick hello from LOL!

In response to Rosanna's facebook wall post...
I AM ALIVE!

You just may not think so since I'm at band camp 90% of the day! LOL.
But seriously. Band has consumed my life and taken every ounce of energy in my body.

I LOVE IT THOUGH.
It makes me feel happy, and even though I have less time to do work, ironically I feel less stressed.

I MISS YOU ALL! I know we're all busy with our summers, but please check in once in a while!

This is a quick post, but I'll post a longer one when camp ends. :D

LOVE YOUUUU.

<3 WENDY

A Request....

I don't know if any of you read my blog, but the dear family friend passed away. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers, he had 3 sons ...
Thank you.
R

Dearies

Hello!

In response to your blogs:

Yeana - I do in fact believe that humans can have the ability to sense something, similarly to a 6th sense. I know that when someone I am close to is going through something hard for them, I will just have a feeling I need to text or call them becasue I know something is up. I don;t know if that is what you mean, but that is how I take it. And I want to read/see your script/play!! It is a great idea!

Tracy - I know you are a busy girl, but BLOG!!! I worry about you and I enjoy reading your blogs, i can hear your voice in my head :) What's new?

Wendy - Welcome home!! Unless you are reading this on your trip back. I am glad that you had a fab. time in China, but the US needs you :)

As for me....

Alaska was great, it truely is one of my favorite places I have ever visited (which isn't saying all that much, but nevertheless) I loved it there! It was so nice and the air was crisp and clean, no humidity or anything like that! I have a partial album on facebook if you would like to browse...

As for the daytime, I am now babysitting my butt off, which has its pros and cons, but hey, it is a job, and a good paying one nonetheless!

As for the musical, I am in the production of Once on this Island. It is a good show and this is my second time doing it. A lot of my friend friends are doing it and it is so nice to spend time with them doing what we love. I am just a storyteller, but the understudy for all the female leads.... ahh! :) But, as I am sure all of you know, there are divas in the show. And there is one that I have done community theatre with before and she keeps throwing backhanded comments about my singing to me thinking I won't pick up on them..... ugh, I hate divas, they are so annoying.

I try to keep myself busy to keep my mind off the bad stuff, but it always creeps up.

The day that I returned from Alaska my mom told me that a very very good family friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer of the stomach and they aren't hopeful of his survivial. They give him a few months, hopefully. If you could just keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers? It seems it always happens to the nicest and most generous people.
I think, as stupid as it sounds, that it hurts me personally that cancer is taking another person I love away from me. I know that is personalizing it too much, but still. #4 this year.....

And then the friends problems still continue. I have my moments of having a good time and feeling so included, but more often than not, I feel left out and disconnected. I am having a crisis of what to do and no matter the advice I am given or the actions I take based on that advice, it doesn't seem to be getting better. So I am at a loss of what to do. I would rather that these 'friends' just walk up to me and say their grievances and then let us both move forward, but they won't so we can't, and moreso I can't.

But I have finished my college resume, and am on the 3rd draft of my main essay for applications so i am kind of on the way..... I am rethinking everything I think I want to do every day. I want to work with kids but I also want to work with adults, so the only thing that I can come up with is highschool principal, but is that what I want to do? All I know is that I want to be a wife and a mother, but sadly, there is no college major in which that can be accomplished. I will probs double in education and buisness admin. I know, they are opposite and different, but I am just lost on this, and basically everything in life right now........

BLOG!!!

Yeana, i hope volleyball tryouts go well!!

Love you all!
Rosie

Hello from China!

Mua ha ha...how do I mysteriously get on pages such as our blog and facebook, you ask? o.O
NOT TELLING YOU.

Lol, j/k. ^.^ My aunt has a company VPN (I don't know what it is exactly, just a program I guess) so I use her laptop when I'm at home to check out all the sites the Great Firewall of China doesn't allow. :D

Anyway, I should get to sleep soon because I have work tomorrow, but I need to respond to your posts and update y'all briefly. :D
Basically, I am having a fantastic time here in China. I love the city life and I'm learning sooo much at my internship. I am working at NBA China, where my uncle is one of the marketing directors. He hooked me up, and is really showing me what business development/marketing is like. I love it there! I feel like we're all on the same boat...NSLC has all made us realize that law isn't something we might want to pursue. LOL. Kinda ironic isn't it? Speaking of which...All this talk about our one year *anniversary* (LOL) makes me sad. :( Yeana, you'll probably find wonderful people at the new camp and an awesome roomie. JUST DON'T EVER REPLACE ME WITH HER!! Lol. :P I hope you have a great time, though I don't want you to have too much fun that you find it better than NSLC. Hahaha....I am selfish. >.<

Tracy, I am so glad you posted. You sound so busy these days! Hope all is well, and don't worry about college, even though all of us are like freaking out about it. Hahah. You are bright and will find success no matter where you go. :D

And Rosanna, I've already said what I have to say in our ongoing email. :P

I'm thankful for this wave of new posts. You all know I get impatient sometimes...XP
I will blog much more (expect a longgg rant) once I get back from China, and I'll definitely leave short posts during my time here!

Love and miss you all,
Wendy

OHSNAPS

ohsnaps indeed

I've been in and out of the house after summer 'cause i started working at the restaurant!

I wake up early enough to shower and check my email

then I go off to work around 11AM

and I get home around 11PM TT_TT

by then, I check my email again, check just the notifications for facebook and then I go crash on my bed and sleep /:

I'm so sorry ladies ):

I'm especially sorry to wendy 'cause she went on so often ><

but yeah, arthur's in china too so i heard that you can go on google & gmail, but facebook is blocked O:!

and gah, yeana i'm so jealous i want time to read ):

I only have two days off a week and some people asked me to save dates in advance so i rarely have time to just bum out and read ;_;

But yeah, about the sixth sense

honestly?

I believe it.

I believe that human beings have a soul, or something in them that makes us the way we are, animated- life, and if I can believe in souls existing, then why not a sixth sense?

AND I WANT TO SEE YOUR PLAY ):

I HAVE YET TO SEE YAGMCB ;__; and whenever a friend mentions snoopy or something i say to myself outloud (LOL) "You're a good man charlie brown..."

and they stare XD

and rosie-anna!

my brother just graduated too & he's going off to college as well :'D

he's going to Boston U, so it's not that far away TT v TT

though i dislike how I have to start applying to colleges.

it's strange, but i honestly just want to go to a college where i'll be happy

I think so long as the facilities are decent, then i'll be fine

mostly because I don't know what i want to do

NSLC actually helped me realize that I don't want to pursue law. It was interesting as hell, but I couldn't see myself doing it in the future. ohboy, you can imagine how my parents reacted to that

but yeah, i think i'll just apply to a state university

I think your camp sounds amazing, and it's fantastic that you know what you want to do C:

and a cruise to alaska! O:! HAVE FUN :D

I was happy to discover today that I wasn't the only one who thought "today is the 1 year anniversary since I met my NSLCers..."

(:

I love you all <3>

I know I don't go on often /:

But I really do miss you all ):

Love Always,

Tracy

Guess who's back?

:D C'EST MOI!

Okay...first of all, apologies...

I promise this will be long...or at least as long as I can make it. :D

Not much has happened...I have a bit of summer reading to do, so I'm getting that done. I finished Frankenstein a while back. I read it expecting to be scared out of my wits, but I wasn't...so I was disappointed a bit. I think I'll have to read it again so I can really read it without expecting so much from it. I need to delve into the prose and symbolism of it...bleh.

But as of now I'm about halfway through One Hundred Years of Solitude, and despite its lack of a distinct plotline and infinite accounts of incest, I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's very deep, and once I looked into the history behind the book, it's even more fascinating.

I have a question for you all; do you believe that humans possess a sixth sense? In the book, Ursula, the mother and leading conservative figure of the town in which her family resides, has an uncanny ability to sense certain moments when some of her children are in peril. When I ask you this question, I don't mean anything that specifically; what I mean is do you believe that humans have an actual ability to tell when someone is staring at them, or perhaps, if something bad happened to someone who is close to them?

I have to finish this book; then I have to read Catch-22. I hear lots of differing opinions about it; if any of you have read it, please give me your own opinions!

Wendy: How on earth DID you access this site from China? O_o And, by chance, if you get to access it more while you're there, tell us how it's going! I hope you're having lots of fun and discovering more about yourself. :]]

Rosanna: How's the new theatre company? I'm very excited for you!! What shows are you planning to be in? And how's life, really?

Tracybabe: Where ARE you?? :[

My friend and I are in the process of writing a play. It's about nothing at all. :] It's practically a show in one act; it's composed of approximately 15 short monologues through which teenagers complain about various random things. It sounds really dumb right now...but it's fairly hilarious. :] We're about 3/4 done and we're very proud of it.

In about a week I'm leaving for Stanford; compared to my 6 hour plane flight last year it's a very very short trip of 1 hour by car. But compared to last year's 10 days, it's a daunting 3 weeks. I hope I can last.

Which reminds me...

It's a full year to the day we met. I miss all of you very much...I'll be very lucky if the people I meet at Stanford are anything like you, and the bond that I will come to share with them; anything like what we share to this day. I'm also praying that I get a good roommate...Wendy, I don't think I'll ever miss you more than I will in the next few weeks to come.

Volleyball is starting for me very soon. I have to shave down my mile time to less than 8 minutes in less than a month...currently it's at a little less than 10 minutes =.= I have a long long way to go. I suppose this means I'll have to exercise while I'm at Stanford. SIGHHHHH.

I hope you are all having a wonderful and safe summer. I will blog more! :]

I love you lots.

<3, Yeans

Happy Birthday, America!!!

Hey Girlies!!

I am sorry that it has been a while since I have blogged, it has been a busy few weeks for me.

Wendy - Isn't this website not allowed? How did you break into it?

Tracy -How are you doing???? Can you please blog?

Yeana - Same for you, what's been up with you guys?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you realize that tomorrow, it will be a year exactly since we all met? It's kind of freaky especially since, to me atleast, it has been longer than that....

For me atleast, it has been a long few weeks. School ended two weeks ago, thank goodness! I have been waiting for summer all year long!

My brother graduated and is now off to college... but he isn't going that far away :(

This past week was so busy for me. I had been helping organizing a special needs camp that is run at my church. It was so rewarding and fun, but also a lot of work becsaue each child there has some sort of special needs: autism, down syndrome, ADHD, basically anything.....
Becasue of this camp, I am now considering a job in special education, like a behavioral therapist or something. I am not too sure that law is what I want to do anymore...

So that camp was from 7:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. And on top of that, each night, I had rehersal for a new theatre company I joined. So from 5:30p.m. to 10 p.m. I was rehersing and dancing my butt off! It has been tough breaking into the new company with a name, but I think that I have achieved it and the driectors and crew like me for me!

Now I am packing... Tomorrow I leave for a two week trip to Alaska!!! I am really excited because my family and I are doing a land tour and a 7 day cruise! It will be my first time out of this time zone, and I am very excited about that as well!

So I know this was a short post, but I have a lot of packing to do and prep for the trip. Hopefully, i will have acess to computers throughout the trip!

As Wendy would say, "BLOG!!!!" :)

All My Love,
Rosanna

ARGH.

Blog, people!

I am halfway around the world, and I've managed to get on our blog...

You all are testing my patience. grrrrrr. >.<

Love,
She-who-is-the-only-one-that-blogs-now-even-though-she-has-been-working-nonstop-in-China.

One before I leave!

Hello, my beautiful ladies!

I miss you all very much. I've been feeling very distant with you guys lately...and I don't like it. :(
Maybe it's because it's summer, and we're all off doing our own things. But I really hope we all come back to this site once in a while, because it's the only place where all of our lifes intertwine. :]

I'm leaving for China in 2 days! I've already said how excited I am, so I won't do anymore of that. Hehe. I'm hoping for new experiences and some real fun.
There are some things going on in Land O' Lakes that I just want to escape...

*sigh* And I can't stop thinking about all the summer work I have to do. No motivation at all. Help me. Haha...

Anyway. I want to address Tracy, specifically. Girl, where are you? We're all very worried about you. I hope you can use this blog as a way to release all those emotions bottled up inside of you. It's okay! We want to help. It's okay to feel weak...but if you keep everything to yourself, that weakness will start eating you up. I have no idea what's been going on, but I just want to let you know that you deserve to be HAPPY. So please think about yourself for once, and do what makes you happy. If something's going on with your friends and family, let us know! We're here for you.
I miss you. :(

------------------------------------------------------

Sooo. This will probably be my last post for a long time. I'm thinking this site will probably be blocked in China, since it's affiliated with Google and well, we all know China's issues with Google. Heh.
But if it's not blocked, I'll definitely post while I'm there and put up pictures of my tracks. :]

I love you all so so so much.

Keep me updated!

<3 WENDY

:]

I'm sorry it's been such a long time...

and I'm sorry I haven't sent you my prom picture yet. That will come soon...

I'm on vacation now! :D

I finished Junior year successfully. In retrospect, I think it was a good year, full of many experiences that will stay with me for the rest of my life. However, I would NOT repeat this year. There were too many dark points in it.

We're seniors now!

I don't plan on wasting this summer...in the past I would wake up waaay too late and end up wasting the entire summer. I'm going to read, exercise, and get started on college stuff. :D I'm also going to start taking my music seriously...:]]

How are you guys doing? I feel like I've been out of touch with all of you for so long...

love,

Yeans

Me, Again...

Alright, so considering I am officially on Summer Vacation, I have time to extensively blog. ^.^
Though, I am upset! My girlies aren't blogging! Lol. I know Yeana's last day was today...Rosanna is probably still busy finishing up school (hang in there girly) and Tracy is...not sleeping? Lol. Well I hope all of you guys write something soon, I'm getting worrieddd.

Blahhh, so today was the first day of summer and I had to go to band practice for 9 hours. NINE HOURS!!! Hahaha...
Being a student leader isn't easy. At all. There is so much negativity this year, and it's contagious. There are so many people out to get me, to prove me wrong, or to make me look bad when I'm instructing them. How do I combat that, and how do I get my point across without seeming as a pretentious bitch who thinks she's the boss of everyone?! Haha. It's so hard when so many of them frustrate me. Argh. >.<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways...so I am reallly glad that I survived Junior year. I am not really that excited for Senior year, as I think it comes with even more pressure and stress. But I'm trying not to think about that. I'm happy that I can finally "get away" from all the drama and stupidity of high school. I've grown tired of the people surrounding me, and I don't think it's such a good thing. What I'm most afraid of is losing touch with even my best friends during the summer, and then coming back in the fall miserable and without friends. Hahah, that's certainly not the way I want to spend my senior year! Idk. I don't think it's going to happen, buttt I'm already getting excluded from some activities. Whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This weekend, I'll be taking the ACTs. Wish me the best of luck! I'll need it, haha. After that, I'm pretty much free. I don't have many summer assignments but I do have to write a rough draft of my Extended Essay for IB...argh. It'll be painful. I also want to get started with my college application essays...maybe some creative juices will spark in China.

Ahh, China. I am beyond excited. Family, the city life, World Expo, internship, good FOOD; it's all too good. It'll be a nice getaway. I'm only spending five weeks there...*sigh* It's wayy too short. I feel summer this year is too short itself...only 9 weeks for us. Is that the usual?! Hahah.

So what are your plans for the summer?? I wanna hear about them. (:

That's all I have, really! Hehe. My life is pretty boring right now.
OH! Forgot to say. Jason wrote me a confession letter...but I'm pretty sure I don't like him anymore. I'm so fickle, I hate it. He thinks he still has a chance, and keeps on asking me to give us a try. I don't really want to, though. It's summer. I wanna be free.

*sigh*

Please write soon, I miss you guys.

<3 WENDY

*sigh*

I really miss you guys.

Tomorrow is my LAST DAY of school.
Omgsh. o.O

It feels kinda surreal. I mean, this year was in same ways, the best year, and in A LOT of ways, the worst year. I don't even know how to describe it. All I know is...it's not something I would want to relive, haha. I can't believe I made it through half-sane...and with straight A's. :P Now if only my standarized testing scores could live up to my school grades, I'd be golden.

Just took three SAT II's this past Saturday. Ehhh. That's how I feel about them; "Ehhh." That's never good ya know...
*sigh*
My real break doesn't really come until I finish the ACTs, which are this Saturday. Surprisingly, I've been doing really well (much better compared to stupid COLLEGBOARD) on the practice tests, so I'm not too worried about that. Still, though. Ugh PRESSURE PRESSURE.

Anyways...
My last post was before I went to Disney, yes?
Omgsh! I had a fantastic time! I've really developed a core group of friends in band and they are the goofiest (word?) girls ever! You can check out my insane pictures of facebook. :P

So now...I feel very stress free. No more school to worry about; it's great!! I can't believe it's been a YEAR already since we've all met. It's so crazy.
What are you guys up to this summer? I think I've already asked but whatever. :P
I CANNOT wait for China, oh my. It's going to be amazinggg, and I'm just glad I can leave this darn Land O' Lakes for 5 weeks. It's too short really...*sigh*

It's late, but I wanted to say something, since our blog has been lagging these past few weeks. :P
I will post a LONGER post worth reading after this weekend, I hope! :)

Love ya,
WENDY

Hey Lovies!!

Hey Ladies!!

So I know that we all check the blog but never actually post.Today I decided that, since I am home sick, I would post!!!

Also, since no one has been posting, I don't know what is happening with you all! So please, let me know por favor!!! :)

So me, this is how I feel: vdhjkfldshgjkdshvjndskvjdskhvoasdfdjkdfjgkfdjkvdshajkfshfjkdshfjkqb, I wish I was kidding...... everything sem,s to be going wrong up here. I was once excitied for prom, and now I am looking forward to this coming weekend to be done. There is just so much drama happening, it doesn't seem to be worth it, you know?

My last day of classes is the 10th, but I have finals up until the 20th.... I am just wanting school to be over... donezo... I am in a funk again, friendships are going downhill, to the point where some of my other friendships are being affected by this.... it is jsut aggrivating. If ou can't tell, my mind is in a million places. I think that I am sic today because of all of the unwanted stress that just seems to be piling up. Like I am president of 4 clubs and along with that comes a lot of events to plan and stuff and its nice to be intusted with this position, but it is a lot of work and I am planning 3 events right now.... alone, once again.

Like is it bad to pick up eveyone else's slack? if it won't get done anyother wway???? I am just so confused right now. help?

rosie

JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW

That I'm thinking of youuu. :D

Tracy is right, so just real quick...I have been extremely busy, with studying for SAT II's, the ACT, and finals as well. I'm hanging in there, and it'll all be over soon. I'm going to be at Disney with the band for the entire weekend, so I promise I will write a full post when I get back.

Love you guys and hope you are all doing well <3

-WENDY

DON'T NEGLECT YOUR TUMBLY!

i think we all check the blog
wanting someone to post something
because none of us have the time
but all of us want to hear from each other

I'm sad, the friendship bracelet wendy made us broke ]:
I'm pretty sure i had it on the night before, so hopefully it's somewhere in my room and not in the big wide world D:
I don't care if people say "it's a small world"
IT'S NOT.
IF IT WAS FREAKING SMALL I COULD TAKE TWO STEPS AND SEE YOU LADIES. TT ^ TT

I have time right now 'cause I got plenty of sleep last night
even if I was obscenely late to school :'D (i got to school in time for the last four period of class. one of those periods being lunch XDXD)
honestly? i went to school 'cause i wanted to take the train home with arthur > ^ <

This week, I had a bunch of presentations and tests
blech
& I decided that I really had to start shaping up, getting serious- bring my grades up
'cause it'd really suck if I couldn't get into Stonybrook (i'm applying SUNY, I don't really care where I go to college particularly so long as they have decent resources- but I want to go to Stony 'cause that's where arthur's going and it's close enough to visit home, but not to live there :'D)
yeah, so FIGHT-O time
I pulled allnighters, but that wasn't really new to me
I grabbed a nap here and there (about forty minutes on the train to school :'D)
& I could function if I had enough coffee = v =
but by thursday I was a ZOMBIE. sometimes my head would just tune people out and i had to ask them to repeat things > ^ < & when I got up, the room would spin a bit- but i figured that was because I was getting up too fast
though it might also have to do with the fact that I don't eat breakfast or lunch, on wednesday instead of dinner, all i ate were some cookies from earlier on the train ride home
and on thursday...i had a papaya and cup noodles. LOL. it's 'cause having dinner with my family was becoming not happy making; so I would just leave instead of arguing it out /:
I figured I was fine, so my tumbly rumbles a bit- I'll just hold on.
but my dizzy spells were getting worse, I'd just stop walking in the hallway waiting it out 'cause I didn't want to stumble or fall-lame.
so last night, I was exhausted. I had time for a quick two hour nap but instead of waking up to my alarm (i have five alarms. one is a loud radio clock right by my pillow, the other three are built in my phone to ring from my desk so i have to actually get up- and another my friend calls me just in case. I slept through them all.)
But i think oversleeping was good for me, 'cause my head didn't ache anymore, and I only felt dizzy in one period

so loves
what i'm trying to say is
get rest.
get food.
rosie, what did the doctor say about your headaches? ]:

Love Always,
Tracy

I'M RATHER SILLY!

Ladies,
my lovely
lovely
L a d i e s.

I APOLOGIZE, THERE'S A LOT OF TESTING AND STUDYING AND SIMPLY TOO LITTLE TIME IN ONE SILLY LITTLE DAY TO DO EVERYTHING D:
GAH.

I love you ladies.
I had originally planned to never tell him what was wrong 'cause after letting it all out- I felt much better.
But in my planner I had inscribed "either talk about it or man up"
& I talked about it! to you ladies!
but on thursday,
he saw it
and he worried.
ohmeohmys.
and he got frustrated when i absolutely did not want to tell him what had been bothering me
so in a rather fail attempt to keep the mood light-hearted I took the escalator down going two steps at a time (it wasn't moving)
and he started going down the escalator rather fast
and
I fell x__x
I only scraped my leg up a little bit, but some absolute...douches. going up the escalator jeered at him because I had been saying "TOOFASTTOOFAST"
but he was quite frustrated and wasn't paying attention so yeah
but the jeering made him go from frustrated to upset to just mad.
it was strange, he wasn't mad at me he said, but just...mad. So I promised that the next day I would say everything.
So I was quite worried and upset at myself for upsetting him
but the next day everything was really made a-okay.
it was our 6 months- half a year, and it was an inside joke so it was incredibly thoughtful; the boy got me purple tulips.
Though on the train ride home he confronted me again, and feeling thoroughly silly I told him everything and it just...it all worked out.
I'm happy knowing that I will always have those who love me.

so let's address prom?
PROM-ALALALA:
okiedokes, so first of all- yes wendy, my school has seperate proms; one for seniors and one for juniors
you know what?
spend you prom over at New York (closer than california)
senior prom is at the waldorf! yayyyyyyyyyyexpensive v O

ohmans. i went to eat dinner, and i learned about one of those real things in the world that people need to know about.
Here's my area: flushing is to queens sort of like what union square or times square is to manhattan. NOWAIT. IT'S LIKE WHAT CHINA TOWN IS TO MANHATTAN, it's to queens. it's the asian central
we have neighborhoods and such with a billion asians, but this is not only one of the main neighborhoods, it has a lot of the STORES.
I think I was talking to Wonhee once, and he takes the train from connecticut to NY just to go to flushing O__O
There's this girl.
23 years old.
She's smarter than your average bear 'cause she came from China to the US for graduate school, and to do that you first have to pass a language test to show you're proficient in the English language.
She wasn't attending school at the moment because it's damn expensive.
Going home from work in flushing, some mexican hit her over the head with a baseball bat.
Dragged her to some back alley, and raped her.
She was found when people saw the excessive blood in the area and police found her in the back of some alleyway & took her to the hospital.
She's brain dead now. Her parents have to come from China to sign papers allowing the hospital to take her off life support 'cause they obviously can't afford to keep her on it.
They did the rape test on her, and found the bastard who did this to her.
But the worst part?
Flushing is full of people.
People who saw a girl being half dragged by some Mexican guy towards an unpopulated area- and he's holding a baseball bat; she's bleeding from the head.
They're mostly fobs- and i mean the stereotypical kind who don't give a shit for anyone other than themselves;
People who don't care enough to see if anything is wrong, or even to call 911
People who make me cry because if they had only cared a bit, they would've save her life and they would've saved her parents from this immense heart ache.
It's also scary to think that one of these days when I'm going home via flushing (which I do everyday) no one will give a shit if I'm the one being dragged away.

Humanity scares me,
tracy.

yeanababe, are you alright?
if you're good, then everything's dandy- we just worry; you should share your happiness (:
if you're not...then when you're able to; talk to us babe.

akjkdslfjdsklghfdsjgsdjkh < Asian Moment :)

Hello Ladies-

WHERE ARE YOU?????????? WHY ARENT YOU BLOGGING????????????????

Tracy - Be confident with who you are! And when you are not, just know that those who love you will always be there for you. It is normal to have insecurities, but please do not let them rule your life. We love you so much, and just want you to be happy! Don't let your insecurities stand in the way of the Tracy we know and love! The one who looked so good in Cynthia's dress!!! <3

Wendy - Whats going on down there?... all the way in Lando... so freakin' far away.

Yeana- ???? Are you there??? Please say yes!

Did all of you go through so much freakin' drama with prom? There is NO saving from all the sh** that is happening up here. Everyone is having a feud with atleast one of their friends about stupid prom. (Luckily I am not, but its afecting my friendships with a lot of people). It is just a contrived event, and I know that night it will be fun, but is it worth all of the crap that goes on before it? Like friendships are legit breaking up because she wasn't invited to pictures here, or he wasn't invitied to the after party there... I want to scream at them GET OVER YOURSELF THERE ARE OTHER PROBLEMS BIGGER AND GREATER THAN PROM!!!!!!!1 9with a ew profanities here and there).

Other than that, my is still goingly badly... people don't seem to understand that things are moer important than their superficial problems. If you lost your I-Phone, to freakin big deal, get over it. its because of your lack of responsibility. I just hape this I am so sick of it and I want it to be done. I want the summer to get here and I want to babysit my butt off and I want to be in my community theatre show and I want to volunteer and I want to leave all the drama and shit behind because I am SICK and tired of it.

This is why I hate my school. All the people there are so spoiled and do nothing to deserve the designer clothes or the Mercedes. It is so freakin' annoying, There is a point where you need to accept the shit that happens to you and try to do the better thing and move on so that you can have a full and enjoyable life. And I wish that they would just get over how much they hate school and accept that it isn't worth complaining about it. Find all the positive in it you can, becasue the negative is only going to make it that much worse. It just bothers me because there are times that I kill myself trying to be there for my friends and make sure they are ok, and get them to laugh when they want to cry and hold them up in a hug when they want to collapse, it's just part of my job. But I just wish they would take a step back and ask me how I am doing, or remember my birthday. I know it comes at a really really busy time of the year, but NOTHING??? Really? I am not one to draw attention to myself or try to make everything about me, or try to make everyone feel sorry for me, but this year has sucked. Starting January losing my grandfather, and then losing someone else almost every 2 weeks after until March... its hard and it still hurts. I try so hard to get past it and move on, but the pain doesn't go away that fast. My support group is dwindling and I miss it and I want it to be there, but I am only willing to do so much.

I miss all of you and in my mind I am counting down the days until I see you all again, even though I do not know when that will be. Until then, from New York.....

Rosie

YESYESYES.

I'm loving this new wave of posting. :D

So my girls. After reading about all your prom specificalities...do you guys having SEPARATE proms for Junior and Seniors?! Weird...hahah and I feel like I was ripped off at mine. 65 bucks for NO dinner, just some cheesy hor deurves (however you spell that). Huh, interesting. I'm loving the idea of the cruise boat, though! That's great.

Anyway, Yeana I am really glad you had fun at your prom! I also enjoyed reading about your "epiphany" of some sort. :P I can see that you're growing into yourself, and that you are happier these days! (Hmm...correlation between that and AP tests, perhaps? Hmm...)
Rosanna, I am sooo excited for you and Loren!! :P As for your friends, I am glad you have people there to fall back on.
Now Tracyyy. Please let go of your insecurities and just LIVE! I know it is so easy to say, so hard to do...but really. Look at yourself. You are a BEAUTIFUL and CAPABLE young lady. You have the potential to do whatever you want...do not let little high school issues weigh you down. I know how much you love Arthur, but please think about yourself for once. Yes, you guys will have your issues, but do not let them affect you in the long run. You've got a long way to go, my dear. These high school matters will seem trivial once you really begin to live! As for prom, you guys don't have to go. Like you said, having your own little date would be SUPER cute and sweet as well. :D
Don't feel weak when you spill out all your feelings...we're here to make you feel stronger. <3

-----------------------------------------------------

As for me, girls, I am DONE WITH AP TESTING!! ^.^ I cannot believe it, actually. I mean, to think that just a month ago I was crying in my closet, so scared I couldn't handle it all.
Schoolwork has died down as well, and I think I am pretty much golden for the rest of the year. (3 weeks left!!!) Now all I have to worry about are SAT IIs and the ACT in June...they shouldn't be too bad.
So I am definitely less stressed, and I'm loving it! I am happy happy again.

BUT...the same old problems keep on reappearing.
I am beginning to feel more and more left out here...I feel like people don't think I'm "fun" anymore, and therefore do not invite me to do anything. My two closest friends have basically, replaced me with a 17 year old guy (meaning as a best friend, not a crush, lol). They do things together now and never invite me. Is it because they automatically assume I'm busy, or is it just because they don't want to hang out with me? I don't understand.
Walking out of my AP testing room today, I was met by groups and groups of friends clumped together, chatting and whatnot. I did not know which group to join. Or rather, I didn't really have any intentions of wanting to join.
You see, here is my problem. I really dislike Land O' Lakes, and Florida for that matter. I think people here are arrogant and STUPID. Kids here worry about irrelevant topics and the lack of motivation really bugs me. This is WHY I want to leave here so badly. This is WHY I want to attend school up north. And therefore, this is possibly the reason why I have been pushing myself so hard lately. My rationale is, if I work hard, I will be admitted into a good school up north and therefore, be able to separate myself from these idiotic doofs in Lando. I want to just run away and start anew, more than anything.
So is it bad that I feel that way? I feel like sometimes I'm making myself an outsider. Obviously I love my close friends, but even sometimes certain things they say/do just BUG the CRAP outta me. Like our ideals and morals are sometimes completely different. I understand that I going to have that problem with everyoneee, but honestly sometimes I just can't take it anymore.
I guess I really don't mind being left out, but then again I do. One of the few people I can really rely on is Jason from Chinese school, who, oh lookie here, doesn't even live in Land O' Lakes. Hmm I wonder why I like him so much. Hahah. Oh, btw I have been talking and spending time with him a lot recently...you know how my feelings for him have always been kind of up and down? Well, I'm pretty darn sure how I feel about him now...I think he really understands me. Partly because he has a lot of the same goals as I do, and he just knows who I really am. He's relatable and he's INTELLIGENT. I grow attracted to him more and more as the days progress. I am really glad I have him.

I am also really glad I have you guys. I think it's amazing that we're all going through the same things, (ie, prom) but that each of our stories are different.
One day we will be reunited, and that will be the happiest day of my life! :)

Love you all.
WENDY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

The title is dedicated to our mommy rosie (:
& by the way, another H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y!
you are fabulous,
& beautiful,
an amazing young woman,
with an amazing mind-
& heart
we love you.

You know, all of this week since my last post I couldn't seem to find the time to look at our blog at all.
& it definitely made a difference not having the words of my ladies as a soft remembrance in the back of my heart that they're there for me.
You guys are an irreplaceable part of my life.

So I'm going to put up pictures sometime soon (I think. lol) and under the guise of being for my digital photography project, I invited my friend Corinne over to burn my report card.
Ladies, you can all tell me I'm smart- but my school begs to differ.
I think it has something to do with me falling asleep during lessons and tests- teachers don't like that too much.
I'm working on it, I didn't sign up for any APs this year because if I can't handle a regular workload, how am I supposed to take on APs?
My friend encouraged me to sign up for the ACT however, and I already have the waiver /: I'm just sitting on the fence. I think I'll commit to it.

SO. I SAW ALL OF THE PROM PICTURES (i'm not a creep, it's facebook. >__O)
& NOW I'M HAPPY WITH THE PROM STORIES [:

Wendylove, if anything I'm more than just going la la la laaa, I'm full out frolicking. IT IS TIME TO SET MY MEADOW ON FIRE AND GET TO WORK TT ^ TT
it's okay if you're going crazy.
one of my teachers that I really respect once talked to me about how he thought he had gone crazy for a moment. I wrote him a letter saying that even if he did go crazy, he'd still be an amazing teacher and such. I told him that being crazy doesn't mean losing your mind, you gain a whole new perspective on the world. Sometimes a bit of entropy is good.
I think he thinks I'm crazy now. LOL.

yeanababe,
greenday is super cool [:
(& SO IS YOUR PRIESSSSST!)

I think I feel too much.
Normal people tear up during films, I cry with tears running down my face.
When they cry, I sob.
Maybe I just really get sucked into the world of the movie.
Or maybe I just feel too much.
I feel like it's only okay to cry, if it's not something important.
I wouldn't want people to worry /:

CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. <3
there's actually a chocolate club at my school....they spend most of the year raising money (selling stuff and etc.) to go on a trip to hershey park at the end of the year XDXD
babe, how are you with francis...?
& I can't wait to get your photo and put it up on my corkboard along with my other NSLC photos [:

ROSIEEEE-ANNAA!!
MY J-PROM IS ON A BOAT AS WELL XDXD
some people think it's hilarious and they sing out IM ON A BOAT.
others are somewhat worried that if they're late the boat will ditch them.
and of coarse some think it's stupid 'cause 1. it's a boat 2. they can't sneak in anything (i happen to like that they can't sneak anything in.) 3. they want to leave early but can't...unless they swim.
I'm not going to J-prom, I wouldn't be going whether Arthur was in my life or not lol
I kind of want to because it seems like some of my close friends are going- but it's much too much trouble and ew- money. (after some deals made with miscellaneous stores on advertising and such, my j-prom would only be like $45-$50!)
Money is quite the issue XDXD
Hey ladies,
so I'm a bit confused
but I may or may not be going to Arthur's senior prom @__@
At first, we had both decided it wasn't going to happen because his mom wouldn't pay for his ticket- my parents obviously wouldn't pay for mine- and he could only save up enough money for one ticket
It's sweet, I keep telling him to just go without me- enjoy his senior experience with his friends and whatnot- but he said he refused to go without me :'D
So we decided we'd have an instead-of-prom date
well.
he just recently told me
that his mom caved. and said she'd cover his ticket, tux, whatever.
He said if he can get enough money to cover my ticket then we're set
I even talked to my mom and instead of an instant veto she's actually considering it :'D
my brother came to my rescue.
he told her than prom is actually important. and that I need to get a dress for it. LOL, HE UNDERSTANDS GIRLS XDXD

ladies, senior prom costs about $200. for the ticket.
X__X

So I still have to ask him about if he's positive we're going,
if we do
I'm nervous as hell.
As wendy should most certainly know about my lack of curves (LOL. IT WAS HARD TRYING TO GET ME TO LOOK NOT-AWKWARD IN CYNTHIA'S DRESS XDXD)
& my school offers Ballroom as a senior elective in phys ed so he can most certainly dance
I think that if we end up not going to prom
then on our insteadofprom date I'll borrow speakers from someone-anyone and get him to dance with me anyways (:
he's a very sweet boy, I hope my brother can see that before he goes to college /:
Today, my brother was poking holes in me. He dislikes that Arthur spends more time on MW2 (Modern Warfare 2) than with me lol. If anything, I'm happy my brother cares for me
Personally I would always welcome more time with him, but if MW2 makes him happy then I don't want to stand in the way of it.
I was a fool to tell my brother about my insecurities.
You see, there are two questions that I want to, but will never ask Arthur.
1. Why did you and Annie (ah. the ex. this name hurts. I actually have a friend named Annie, she doesn't know that this is the reason why I call her KIMBOOYAH (her last name is kim) all the time instead of annie. this is also the reason why I can't think about pikachus without being sad anymore. This is also the reason why I deleted a song named annie in my Ipod. This is a reason for many things.) break up?
-I never did receive a clear understanding on it.
2. Something along the lines of "Am I appealing to you at all?"
You see, that girl up there (><) is very. sexy. I mean it. I'm very comfortable with my sexual orientation, I know for a fact that I'm a hundred percent straight. I might experiment (LOL) but I'll always roll along the beaten path and be attracted to guys. So I can comfortably tell a girl if she is sexy- and she is. (by the way, you ladies are more than sexy, you're downright beautiful.)
I think he played quite the game of baseball with her. (LOL, THE BASES. REMEMBER?)
Through some backdoors and creeping, I gained access to their wall to wall (i went to my friend in a panic that I had gone off the far end- that i was officially a psycho. she told me that it was actually the norm in most girlfriends and that creeping was fun anyways. she made me laugh :'D)
yeah, so I was given the privilege to see his past i love yous to her (oh boy.) and also to see that she had told him that he was too aggressive.
aggressive?
Possibilities that ran through my head:
1. Very sexual possibilities.
This boy won't touch me. and I mean, at all. He says he respects me too much and that he doesn't want to mess up this relationship (like the last one..?)
oh, i hate the nega-me. she points out everything i'm scared of. maybe it's not just respect, maybe i'm just not appealing to him at all.
she de-sexualizes me,and I feel quite unappealing to him. I feel devoid of any charm other than a childlike cuteness which really doesn't help the cause unless he's got a thing for lolitas. Oh wendy, if you thought you were crazy, you're not. at all.
I mean it. If you thought the things above this were crazy talk, wait until you hear what I'm about to say. It's something I held deep within the confines of my heart because I scared myself a bit with the truth in it.
My friend had just told me in passing something about horoscopes and whatnot.
A pisces apparently sees sex as the ultimate act of love. It's like...that's all she has to give, herself.
So I laughingly asked myself, as a pisces would I do that?
Oh ladies, it was a sardonic laugh.
I honestly would.
Not in the way as giving-sex-for-love. don't worry about that. I just want to give all that I can give.
He wouldn't anyways, he's much too much of a gentleman and I don't think the thought that little ol' me would want to seduce him would ever enter his mind.
I told you it was crazy.
possibility number two is off the charts crazy.
possibility number two is that he acts very different around me, it's either because he's honestly changed, or that he feels like he can't be himself around me. At some point in all of my craziness this notion evolved into me being fluff. Fluff is just filler. expendable. It's sadsadsad.
Maybe this is all one big misunderstanding on his part and I'm the only one in love.
Here is where the hole poking happened. I don't think my brother realized how much this really impaled me.
Does he call?
-"he doesn't really use his phone a lot." I used to be able to say that he broke his phone so that was why he didn't call, but now he has a new one. my answer was still he just doesn't use the phone a lot.
Does he go on facebook? (my brother knows I thrive on facebook because it's a connection to my friends)
-"not...anymore..." we really started talking on facebook. there would be page long conversations broken up into smaller parts so that they would fit within the limit. It was the most wonderful wall spam because there was simply so much to talk about.
and then it stopped. OHMAN. and this one really killed 'cause he used to go on facebook as much as i did- when he went out with her. to talk to her. sadsadsad.
Does he ever go out with you?
-YES.
often?
-...he tries.
What's keeping him so busy that he can't see you?
-...modern warfare 2...IT MAKES HIM HAPPY. IT'S OKAY.
Being with you should make him happy. Wouldn't you choose him over manga?
-LOL, I ONCE SPENT AN ENTIRE WEEKEND WITHOUT READING ANY MANGA AND JUST TALKING TO HIM :D *goes back to such a good conversation*
that's how it should be. do you two ever talk? he never calls or texts. he'll check facebook but he'll reply to everyone but you and he only sometimes goes on aim?
-...it's enough.
I'm starting to doubt that he cares.
-he cares.
I don't want you to lie to yourself.

HE KEPT POKING HOLES.
i wish he asked me the most important question.
"does he love you?"
yes. we even banter about it every now and then about who cares more. But then what's sad is that part of me way deep inside is serious when I say that I love him more, and nothing can convince me otherwise because that part of me really believes it's true.
Hi, I hate myself.
Hi, I'm crying.
Hi, it's been over two hours of writing.
& it has been driving me insane. quietly insane.
you know what?
now that I've finally let it out. It feels a little less silly. and a little less possible. not a lot, but a little.
I hate hurting him so much that I would never directly say such a thing on my blog when I need to vent because I'd be scared that he'd see it and he'd be hurt. The rational part of me doesn't want him to know of my scared thoughts because the rational part of me doesn't want to hurt him with something that will go away eventually. Because this is all crazy talk right?
The nega-me hates me, loves him. so she wouldn't want to hurt him.

i think opening the heart a bit let out way too much crazy for one little post. I don't want to think about it. I want to get a hold of myself and make it all go away.
Yeanababe, do you remember mentioning that you'd bitchslap nega-me away if she popped back up?
I think i need a good smack to the face.

Hey ladies, I think i just had an epiphany.
the real reason why i don't post too often
isn't because I don't want to leave long inane posts.
I love leaving you guys posts full of my love for you
but it's because
my heart is too off guard with you ladies. and all of a sudden all of my insecurities come rushing out.
I dislike that.
I'm not used to talking about it.
it's weird.

I love you ladies,
even though you all make me much too weak.
tracy.

Darlings....

It is May 9th, but it is 32 degrees in Albany.... weird. Anywho..............

Wendy - I love you, and your fuzzies, and I am so glad that you had a good time at prom!!!! I stalked you A LOT on facebook to see all the pictures.... :)

Tracy - Everything will work out, be yourself. We love you and want you to BLOG!!! lol. :)

Yeana - I am glad you had a good time at prom too!!! I am excitied for this mail you mentioned. :)

So APUSH - I thought it was a fair exam, it wasn't hard for me, but it wasn't easy either..... but its OVER!!!!! And thats all that realy matters. You will do great on the rest of your APs/IBs !!!!!

So my life, has been completely consumed by studying for APs. Legit - I would leave the house at 6:30 in the morning and not get back until 9 at night. I studied my a** off for APUSH and hopefully it paid off, but I will not know until i get my score (especially since we had a timing error where we were given less time on the mulitple choice)

But my Birthday -- oh, how I hate that day. Anywho, It was same-old same old. I got home at 9, my arents had already cut into a cake my friend had dropped of for me when I wasn't hope. They didn't get me anything..... I really thought that everyone forgot it was my birthday. Legit, like I understand why my friends could have because of APs but my family??? ... That just bothers me.

As I have mentioned before I have 2 core 'groups' of friends.... and no one seemed to remember my birthday, but one of them, the one with Sarah and Jillian (...idk if you remember me mentioning them) they threw me a surprise party Friday night (just 8 of us) but it really meant a lot.

I had been so busy, I had not had time to feel...as Yeana was saying. And your blog really resonated in me becasue I thought to this party I just mentioned and I was talking to sarah. She, like me, lost her grandfather, but hers was in September. And as sad as it sounds when we were sitting in my friends room ater I had opened my presents... I asked her if it got easier.... as in missing my grandather. She said that the 1st year is the hardest... and i get that. Because on Wednesday night, the messages that I was listening to, I kept thinking my grandfather's would be the next one... and then it never came. and it made me sad. So basically in the middle of this wonderful party being thrown for me, I bust out into tears, and luckily my friends were there... but (this applies to your post yeana) I kept apologizing about crying. And they said it was ok, that sometimes you feel what you do, and no matter what, you need to feel it. And I know that, you know? But at that moment, in that public place, I didn't ind it acceptable crying. And the sad part is that I know my friends were shocked to see me like this. I had never cried infront of them, and I think I reminded them that I am not 'Superwoman', waht they sometimes reer to me as. I think we all forget that we need to feel, no matter where we are...
-----so thank you Yeana, for your post.

As for Prom: It is on June 5th. What my school does for Junior Prom, is we rent out a cruise boat (only because they want to have control over when we get there and when we leave). So prior to that we really only have to do pictures because they serve dinner for us. (Atleast they do that... a ticket s $65). But pictures is going to be a stressor for me only because I have to got to atleast 2 different places, maybe 3, depending on what Loren's friends are planning. Which (from what he told me was nothing at this point). But then we have after parties to go to. I think we will wind up attending a backyard campout (with 1 group of friends) and the next day do a picnic at the local town park (with the other set of friends) - if this is what Loren is comfortable with.... I haven't talked to him because he has 1. AP Physics tomorrow and is freaking out over it. and 2. today was his 1st Mothers day without his Mom, so i can only imagine that it was a hard day for him and his family.... so thinks are better left until after, you know????

Well, I have homework to do, because I didn't do any this weekend.... whoops. Hopefully this satisies any questions you may have. All my love, I am always thinking about you, and missing you.

Rosie

azn sensation :]]]]

This is soo funny....I legit tried to post, but my computer spazzed and wouldn't let me. Thankfully my post was saved...but then I read Wendy's post and started laughing out loud. Honestly.

Well here's my original post:

_______________________________________________


I'm feeling really good right now because I'm more than halfway through my AP testing. Just one more on Monday and then I'm free. ^^

Also, the test that I was dreading has passed. (APUSH) I feel like a weight has been lifted from me.

I know we're all busy right now, but just one more week of testing and we're through! Hang in there, babes...

Lately I've been rediscovering the music of Green Day. When I was in middle school I was a huge Green Day fan; my brother listened to them a lot and I came to love their music, especially in 7th grade. But in 8th grade and until now, I sort of stopped listening to them and started exploring other music. It was only a few weeks ago that I remembered that Green Day still existed.

It's actually quite an interesting story...

A few weeks ago the priest at our church was doing a homily(sermon) for the children's mass. The high schoolers and middle/elementary schoolkids were celebrating together that day, so I was there to see this. Anyways, as he explained some of the finer points of the reading that morning, he mentioned a song by Green Day; 21 guns. He proceeded to pull out his iPhone and play the song for us. (Do we have the awesomest priest ever, or what? :] )

It'd been a few years since I'd listened to Green Day, and 21 guns was a new song for me, despite the fact that it had come out last year.

As the song came through the sound system, I remembered exactly why I loved Green Day. Their songs are first, easy to listen to, but more than that, they carry these universal meanings that everyone can relate to. Green Day is different from today's punk bands because they can write beautiful music. Maybe some people wouldn't define it as 'beautiful', but honestly, if you listen to the lyrics (moving past all of the references to drugs and sex that my parents, if they could understand half the song, would find offensive) it has the power to reach deep into your soul and make you feel. 21 guns...is pain.

I'm going through a phase where I'm discovering what feeling is again. My drama teacher always tells us that it's okay to feel things. At first I thought, of course we feel. When we laugh, we're happy. When we cry, we're sad. We all feel, don't we? I didn't really get what she was trying to tell us.

I'm still not completely sure, but I think I'm beginning to understand. We live in a world where apathy is the norm, where teenagers are forced to hide their tears, where people who don't cry are considered strong, where people have to disguise their emotions. I think actors are the only people who are allowed to be expressive and get away with it. This is the life we lead today. Humans are what they are; we have emotions and we need to let them show. But society condemns it all...there's something wrong with the world when a child has to claim she has allergic reactions to something in order to hide her tears, when a guy has to use the same excuse to show that he's not upset about something that would leave a "weaker" person bawling. It's so unhealthy to bottle up emotions, and even though everyone says that, no one really believes in it.

Onstage, we're allowed to feel things. A good actor doesn't act the part; we feel the part. We live the part. The character's emotions become our emotions, and the tears are real. We yell because that's what the character would do, we laugh because that's what they do. We feel.

That's my rant for now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel things. So feel. :]


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


And now I will really respond.

Tracy: You'll be fine. Maybe things are hard right now, but they always work out in the end. Don't fret; keep going. :]

Wendy: FUZZIES.

Also, prom. I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! Max was the best date ever. :]] I think I had more fun because Francis brought Max's friend to prom, so it was like a little Charlie Brown reunion. :D We had dinner at a friend's house (potluck) and took a limo to prom. Unlike Wendy, we arrived really early...something I really liked about the place; they had a chocolate fountain with lots of goodies on the side to dip into the chocolate. Another fun incident; we had to take an elevator from the lobby to get up to the dance floor, and I assumed that it was on the top floor so I pressed the button for the top floor. When the door opened I saw that the dance WASN'T on the top floor...we had come out in the kitchens. After an awkward smile and a quick wave to the chefs, we hurried down to the 2nd floor where we spent the rest of the night.

You will all be receiving pictures in the mail... :]]

APUSH was not an easy test...I know I passed, though. :D I guess that's good enough at present. Wendy, you'll be fine. :] I took my SAT IIs last Saturday. Hopefully they're the last SATs I'll ever have to take...and you are definitely not the only one sitting on your butt going lalala...that's exactly what I'm doing right now. I should be studying for bio...but that can wait til tomorrow. :D

Rosanna I want to hear all about your birthday!!! AND your prom. When is it again?

Missing everyone,
Yeans

WHY ISN'T ANYONE BLOGGING!

Well THANKS to TRACY, who responded to my post. You are a jem, darling. :)

Anyways. You know how life can sometimes be a roller-coaster ride (ok, never mind--ALL THE TIME)? Well I think I've finally reached the top of the hill. :) Maybe it has to do with not going to school due to AP/IB testing, and maybe it's because I feel pounds and pounds of weights being lifted off my shoulders with each new day, but I FEEL GOOD. And happy.

So let's recap, shall we?
PROM. Last saturday. I'm sure you all have seen pictures on facebook. :P I had a group of 10 others to do the whole pre-prom ordeal. Took pictures, went out to dinner, arrived to prom about an hour and half late...hahah. Anyway. Basically when we got there, everyone was all grinding up on their dates and I think it made my date extremely uncomfortable. You know me, those things don't bother me--hell, I like to have fun too--but he doesn't really dance sooo...yeah. Can you say awkward? He would like, half-heartedly dance with me for one song, and then ditch me to accompany his best friend, who came without a date. Um, HELLO?! You're MY date, not HIS. Jeesh.
So he could definitely tell I was getting pissy, and he soon changed his ways. Hahah. We danced together the entire night, along with the other couples (it was so cute, I loved it) and I genuinely had lots of fun! I'm not going to lie though, I did restrain my "fun" a wholeee lot, because I didn't want to make him feel to uncomfortable, and I think that led to me not having as much fun as I wanted, you know? But I'm not going to complain, I had a better time than I thought I would, and I'm sooo glad I decided to give prom a chance this year. YEANA--I wanna hear about your experience!! :)

---Btw, Rosanna I hope you had a fabulous birthday!---

Anyhoo...So testing testing testing. I took my IB math exam, which for the most part was fairly easy. I know I at least passed, and that's all that matters to me at this point...at least I'm one step closer to getting my IB diploma...hehe. APUSH today wasn't that bad either, huh girlies? I'm not jinxing myself. Sooo many people are like, "Pfft that was so easy, I'm getting a five"---and I guarantee you half of them aren't even gonna pass...Sometimes people's confidence scares me. o.O But you ladies are smart. :D

So all I have are AP Bio (kill me now) and AP Lang & Comp next week. I'm feeling relaxed, not as stressed as I used to be. :)
But then again, after AP tests I have SAT IIs...and then after that I have the ACT...and then after that I get to go to CHINA!!

I can finally see my light at the end of the tunnel. It's really dim, though. But it's there. :)

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS. Y'all are probably studying your butts off and I'm sitting here being all "la la la laaaaa..."

I think I'm going crazy.

Ok. Write soon. Love you all.

<3 WENDY

SUN FUZZIES!

my friend hannah & I are going to name our group SUN FUZZIES C:
seeing wendy's need for fuzzies reminded me of that (:

It's nice to know that all of us check the blog all the time even if we can't post all the time :'D

wendylove, thankyou.

& love, ohmys ):
all of you are reaching your breaking points because of school ):
Although I think what I've done certainly helps, I don't want to advise you all to do what I've done because quite honestly, my path (LOL, Jedi?) severely limits your options in the future.
I've come to acknowledge that I just don't fare too well in the school system.
All I want is to be happy, and although money would be nice to have in abundance in the future, it's certainly not all that I need. I think I can be happy so long as I have enough.
But I got a little carried away at one point and I nearly stopped caring about school altogether- luckily I got set back on the right path
Maybe not the A path,
or even the B path
but I like to think I'll fare better in College.

College will be easier ladies:

• sleep. a lot more. one reason I do miserably in a lot of classes is because I fall asleep through all of them.

& that's all that's really important to me XD
I'm selfish, so I can't sacrifice friends for sleep and therefore my grades have been suffering.
It is beyond an asian fail, it's a take-again-next-year fail LOL.

wow, do you all go to Junior Prom? O:!
I love seeing pictures of my ladies all glammed up (:

your "depressing excuse for a blog post" lets us know that you're alive, and although you're having a bit of trouble (which we need to know! we love you <3) you're still somewhat sane ;D

Love Always,
tracy.

Don't worry, I'm still alive!

...Just barely though. :P

Sorry for not writing any sooner; life has gotten extremely busy, but that doesn't mean I don't read you guys' posts! I actually check our blog constantly, and while I don't have the time to write something every day, for some reason reading the posts just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I think I've been needing more fuzzies these days.

Soo in response to your posts!
Rosanna: I am soooo happppy for you and Loren, but you already know that. ;P I am also glad that Harmony for Haiti was a success. You put a lot of time and effort into it, and I'm sure all that was reflected that night!
Tracy: Don't you ever think that you are disappointing us, because you don't. You are such a bright young lady, so don't let your insecurities get in the way. It seems as if your relationship with Arthur is going smoothly again; once again though, don't think that you are "disappointing" him or whatever...an attitude like that can make you seem weak, and the least I want to happen is for him to push you around. I'm not saying that happens, I just worry about you. I want you to be happy, and for you to do that, it may be to just sometimes worry about YOUR feelings for once. Think about what makes YOU happy and comfortable, and go with it. Don't think about what others have to say about it...of course there is a time and place to listen to others' opinions and be considerate, but you know what I mean.
Yeana: Once again, I feel as if you can just read my mind, and then write down all the thoughts that I am too afraid to utter out loud. I can almost 100% understand what you are feeling right now, the part about just dropping everything and running away. I understand your apathy and lack of energy. I think you have already decided to run for president, so my advice is probably too late, but nevertheless I think you would make a superior class president. And while campaigning does take time and effort (which you may not have), it may be worthwhile to pursue. However, keep in mind...do not just run because you feel pressured or what not. Since you are so stressed currently, keep your priorities straight and run if you TRULY want to. I think you do?

Anyway, I am just going to follow up on Yeana's post about stress and all that. I have had more breakdowns these past few weeks than I have in my life, altogether. Honestly, I don't know how many times I have wanted to just drop everything and run. Run far away, where I don't have to worry about school and people and this "future" of mine. Girls, I really don't know if I can handle it all. IB/AP tests start next week, and I feel completely unprepared. I stay up later and later each night, and because of that I get crankier and crankier as the days progress. And what is this all for, really? Must I really exert myself this much to obtain a "bright" future? It just doesn't make sense. I really don't know what I'm doing with myself anymore. I don't see a point in anything anymore. I see myself sulking into "depression", and it's scary because I can't get myself out of it. This past weekend was JSA (Junior State of America) Spring State, where I was actually happy. I hadn't been that happy in such a longggg time. Then, I came back to school and once again, everything is going downhill.

But I guess everyone is feeling like this, this time of year. I know I'm not alone, but I feel as if I am. I just don't want to do this anymore. I want to be able to get a full 8 hours of sleep, and I want to be able to watch some TV for once when I get home. I want to have fun carelessly, without worrying about what homework I have to do once I get back. *sigh* And I just want to be happy again, really. I don't know what to do but to keep going...

So prom is this weekend. My apathy has taken over, I'm not even that excited. Hahah. Actually, I am, but not so much as I should be? Idk. I am going with a close guy friend, and honestly I don't even want to go with him anymore. Lol. I know it sounds horrible but idk, I just think it'd be awkward. Oh well, I will try to make the best out of it. :P
Now, I mentioned Spring State earlier. Basically it was FANTASTIC. I won 2 best speaker awards, and had a blast debating and meeting new people. I think politics/diplomacy may be something to look into in the future...I feel this position fits for me. :P


So yes. I hope you all enjoyed my overly depressing excuse for a blog post. HAHA. I really hope you guys aren't as miserable as I am, but knowing you guys...ya'll probably are. Lol. It's ok. We can do this girls. The light is just at the end of the tunnel...and we are reaching that end. Keep your heads up, and don't like anything or anyone bring you down.

I love you all,
WENDY