Olympics !!!!!

Hello my wonderful girlies~

The Olympics are here... skiing, skating, luge... its all a New Yorker could ask for, especially since I have skiied in Lake Placid where other Olympic Games have been. Anywho...

Tracy - I do agree with Yeana and Wendy. Communicate with him, it is ok to have insecurities, but you don't need to keep them from him. What I have noticed in a lot of my friend's relationships is that they try to be 'perfect' (I am not saying that this applys to you in anyway) but this perfection that they want their significant other to see... it usually never works out. They are not who they really are which is a shame. I think that you talking to him, you may learn many things about eachother, not dragging you apart, but in fact the opposite: bringing you together. Just know that we are here for you and always will be.

Wendy - I am so happy that you like him! Thats so exciting! Keep us posted. And please don't stress out too much with grades and what not. You are a smart cookie... a very smart cookie and any school would be lucky to have you. I am proud of you that you have the drive, but please don't push yourself too hard. You may not agree with this next statement, but even though you work hard and need to so that you can get where you want to be BUT enjoy your life. Don't forget that you need to have fun and chill out!!! :)

Yeana- Woot woot... yeana's got a hottie! I am glad that Hayley said yes! We don;t have a Sadie Hawkins dance up here either, but even if we did, I don't think that anyone would go (which says something very bad about my school...) And thank you again for your letter, it meant a lot. Keep us posted! Oh and how are you doing with singing and acting!?!?!?


So, I (as Wendy has said) have been quite aloof for the past month or so... I will give you the 'low-down' of what has been happening and therefore changed my life.

The New Year had been going well, I saw my family and everything was great! I auditioned and got in my schools production of "West Side Story" with the part of Glad Hands. The 1st semester was wrapping up and I guess I could say 'I was on a high' - so busy and happy with my life.
Then I found out on January 20 (my brother's birthday) that my grandfather was really really sick. He had been in the hospital for a day or so and on a routine XRay they found something in his lung. We got a call from one of my dad's siblings and they said that it did not look good, the doctor gave him a week. So that night, I was on the phone with one of my frineds for about an hour... sobbing uncontrollably. The next day was really hard; I can honestly say that it is a blur.. I don't remember anything. Then on Friday (the 22nd) my mom calls my phone and lets me know that my appointment at the gym had been cancelled. I guess you could say that I knew something was up, but I was in denial. That night I get home and was getting ready for a party, and my parents called me down into the family room and told me my grandfather had passed away, the cancer had spread too much (his prostate, lungs, live, and bonne marrow and even though he tried, he couldn't fight it any longer)... my heart dropped and I was in shock.
The next week was a week from hell and I can honestly say it was the worst week of my life: it was midterm week, my grandfather's funeral and wake, college stuff everything that shouldnt ever collide did. I didn't study (whoops) and I was so upset that wholoe week (it didn't help that every teacher I had and others I had in past years knew even though I didn't tell them) My chem teacher was so supportive "If you need anything at all please let me know. You are so strong, I am so proud"
My friends were there for me religiously. When I felt like I had no strength, they were my strength. (And I am soory that I haven't told you what happened sooner - it would of been too hard for me) My school community was there for me, it was amazing, but hard.
On Thursday I find out that my Chem teacher is really sick and won;t be coming back for the rest of the year. Another loss, I was so close to her, she was so supportive... again I cried and was upset. I guess it felt like everything bad that could happen, did (dramatic yes) I said goodbye to her on Friday... during my free period: we cried and hugged and it was hard. Luckily I have my best friend in my free period who took me and let me cry with only her there.
The past month has been so hard. I think I figured it out: I feel like everyone that I am close to is leaving, and I know that they have too, but that doesn't take away my hurt... and I have a lot of it. But I don't want to only tell you the negative, you see becasue that would be an injustice to both of them. My grandfather was an amazing man. So strong: he was a fighter and had a hard life, but a good life. I will probably be referenceing him for a while, because until we bury him in the spring (the ground int he Adirondacks is too hard to dig into in the winter) I wont have closure. My chem teacher is also a fighter and an amazing woman, She will become better and live her life to the fullest.

I do love my life, but it is so hard sometimes. Somehow, I ended the semester and midterm week with a GPA of 96.... i don;t know how, but i did.
And as Wendy already knows: I may have a crush on someone, but my mindset has been so weird, I am not sure. I will tell you a few things about him: he is smart, funny, personable, cute, loveable... just an all around good guy. I have mentioned him before, he lost his mother october of last year to cancer. His name is Loren Cao, and yes he is Asian :)

I think that is enough from me. Mucho love to all. Im not far at all, just a thought away....
Rosanna