Don't worry, I'm still alive!

...Just barely though. :P

Sorry for not writing any sooner; life has gotten extremely busy, but that doesn't mean I don't read you guys' posts! I actually check our blog constantly, and while I don't have the time to write something every day, for some reason reading the posts just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I think I've been needing more fuzzies these days.

Soo in response to your posts!
Rosanna: I am soooo happppy for you and Loren, but you already know that. ;P I am also glad that Harmony for Haiti was a success. You put a lot of time and effort into it, and I'm sure all that was reflected that night!
Tracy: Don't you ever think that you are disappointing us, because you don't. You are such a bright young lady, so don't let your insecurities get in the way. It seems as if your relationship with Arthur is going smoothly again; once again though, don't think that you are "disappointing" him or whatever...an attitude like that can make you seem weak, and the least I want to happen is for him to push you around. I'm not saying that happens, I just worry about you. I want you to be happy, and for you to do that, it may be to just sometimes worry about YOUR feelings for once. Think about what makes YOU happy and comfortable, and go with it. Don't think about what others have to say about it...of course there is a time and place to listen to others' opinions and be considerate, but you know what I mean.
Yeana: Once again, I feel as if you can just read my mind, and then write down all the thoughts that I am too afraid to utter out loud. I can almost 100% understand what you are feeling right now, the part about just dropping everything and running away. I understand your apathy and lack of energy. I think you have already decided to run for president, so my advice is probably too late, but nevertheless I think you would make a superior class president. And while campaigning does take time and effort (which you may not have), it may be worthwhile to pursue. However, keep in mind...do not just run because you feel pressured or what not. Since you are so stressed currently, keep your priorities straight and run if you TRULY want to. I think you do?

Anyway, I am just going to follow up on Yeana's post about stress and all that. I have had more breakdowns these past few weeks than I have in my life, altogether. Honestly, I don't know how many times I have wanted to just drop everything and run. Run far away, where I don't have to worry about school and people and this "future" of mine. Girls, I really don't know if I can handle it all. IB/AP tests start next week, and I feel completely unprepared. I stay up later and later each night, and because of that I get crankier and crankier as the days progress. And what is this all for, really? Must I really exert myself this much to obtain a "bright" future? It just doesn't make sense. I really don't know what I'm doing with myself anymore. I don't see a point in anything anymore. I see myself sulking into "depression", and it's scary because I can't get myself out of it. This past weekend was JSA (Junior State of America) Spring State, where I was actually happy. I hadn't been that happy in such a longggg time. Then, I came back to school and once again, everything is going downhill.

But I guess everyone is feeling like this, this time of year. I know I'm not alone, but I feel as if I am. I just don't want to do this anymore. I want to be able to get a full 8 hours of sleep, and I want to be able to watch some TV for once when I get home. I want to have fun carelessly, without worrying about what homework I have to do once I get back. *sigh* And I just want to be happy again, really. I don't know what to do but to keep going...

So prom is this weekend. My apathy has taken over, I'm not even that excited. Hahah. Actually, I am, but not so much as I should be? Idk. I am going with a close guy friend, and honestly I don't even want to go with him anymore. Lol. I know it sounds horrible but idk, I just think it'd be awkward. Oh well, I will try to make the best out of it. :P
Now, I mentioned Spring State earlier. Basically it was FANTASTIC. I won 2 best speaker awards, and had a blast debating and meeting new people. I think politics/diplomacy may be something to look into in the future...I feel this position fits for me. :P


So yes. I hope you all enjoyed my overly depressing excuse for a blog post. HAHA. I really hope you guys aren't as miserable as I am, but knowing you guys...ya'll probably are. Lol. It's ok. We can do this girls. The light is just at the end of the tunnel...and we are reaching that end. Keep your heads up, and don't like anything or anyone bring you down.

I love you all,
WENDY