Hello All!

You know, sometimes I really wonder if we all go through the same things just because it's high school...or if it's because we're really all meant for each other. :P

I like to think it's the latter.

So as I've told Yeana and Rosanna, I'm basically going through the same things they are. Boys, friends, and just finding enough time to do everything in this vicious cycle we call LIFE. Btw Yeana, I can relate to the stress that comes along with drama and your musicals, but I think you should stick with it. I noticed my grades slipping during the busiest times during marching season, but you just gotta pull through. Keep a strict schedule, and don't allow for easy distractions. Also, I've had to make a lot of sacrifices...and I'm sure you have made your share too. We just have to keep our priorities straight. As for the parents issue...*sigh*, that is one you'll have to discuss with them yourself. :/
At least you're sounding better, Tracy. I hope all is well. :)

So let's see what's new in Land O' Lakes. Well, as I've already mentioned to Rosanna, I have a friend problem. It's a reoccuring one and I'm sure I've mentioned it before. I guess I'm just feeling really lonely these days. I look around me and I see people pairing off...leaving me with no one. I mean of course I have you guys and my good friends outside of school, but what about these kids that I have to see every single day of my high school career? I have plenty of friends and a good core group, but I can't seem to find my "other"; you know, that friend who supposedly shares a brain with you and is supposed to be there for you no matter what? You guys have weekend sleepovers and pick each other for project partners--always. Well, I guess I have several of those type of "friends" but if someone were to ask me who my BESTEST friend was (juvenile, yes), I'd say...my mother? Seriously. I don't know if that's sad or what, but really. I've been feeling like a third wheel recently, and I feel as if I'm being constantly replaced. I don't really know what to do, you know?

Anyways...moving on...So the boy(s) issue. There are two main guys in my life right now who I generally care about (romantically). I've talked about both: Jason (the clingy Chinese guy) and Curtis (the best guy friend who has rejected me before). They are, in essence, completely different regarding their relationships with me. Only similarity is that they are both my best guy friends. Hahah. Jason really does like me, a lot, and he shows it. He is so incredibly talented and smart and sometimes I wonder how a guy like him would like a girl like myself. Yes, he does get clingy, but I hung out with him last week, one and one...and I feel really comfortable with him. Like I feel he really understands me and he won't judge me or anything. I feel...free, when I'm with him. Curtis, on the other hand, is just confusing. He has rejected me before, though I can't seem to stop liking him. I've liked him since middle school because he is just so close to perfect. I mean, he has his faults, but he is such a gentleman. He's naturally flirty and really doesn't mean to, so sometimes his actions may lead me on. But, I know that, and I know that he would neverrr like me. So why do I like him so much? I think a big difference between him and Jason is that I am much more physically attracted to him than I am to Jason. I just can't figure Curtis out. I don't understand how such a down to earth guy is so unattainable. And of course, us girls are more attracted to "the challenge". So what should I do? I mean, should I just forget about Curtis and go with Jason, the safer choice? I mean, I know Jason's feelings for me and I know that he would be good for me...but why does my heart keep on telling me to chase after Curtis? I personally believe that you can love someone without them loving you back, and sometimes, when I'm talking with Curtis and I'm looking him in the eyes, I really do feel as if I love him. I know it's crazy, and I know I'm being uber cheesy, but this is my romantic side coming out. Haha. But seriously. What if I love the kid? Maybe I'm just being immature but I'm 17 and have had my share of unnerving relationships...I think I have a strong grasp on my feelings by now. So I don't know what to do with myself, and I don't know what to think. Please just tell me what to do and I'll do it! Lol...

I'm such a mess right now, haha. I guess I've thought a lot during this Spring Break. Hehe. Not thinking much about school; 3rd quarter was a breeze. I can only hope the LAST QUARTER of JUNIOR YEAR is the same (haha see my excitement?! :P) but I know we've got testing soon! Argh. I neeed to start studying.

Well, that's pretty much it. Besides my occasional moments of sheer depression, I'm doing okay! I could be better, but I'm okay. I really do miss you guys.

Write soon.
<3 WENDY