I Return :]

Hello ladies,

Spring Break has just started and I have returned from Los Angeles with the choir. I had a blast...but I came home incredibly tired and spent most of today sleeping.

Anyways...

Wendy; I totally know what you mean when you talk about always feeling like the third wheel. I felt it more than ever when I was at LA; I mean, I had fun, but I felt like everyone was paired off except for me. Everywhere we went, we always had an odd number of people because of me. Our group was basically made up of two couples, me, and a girl and the guy she was crushing on. I didn't even know she liked him until the night of the second day; until then, I was thinking he was a cute guy and trying to get to know him. Once she told me, I couldn't get close to the guy intentionally...it just seemed wrong.

Whatever, I still had fun. On the first day we went to a wax museum with figures of celebrities. The second and third days were devoted to Disneyland and the competition (we took second place), and we spent the last day in Universal Studios and the bus.

Ahh, the bus ride home.

We had a full bus and I had an empty seat next to me (no surprise there). Francis came on the bus, looking for a seat, and sat down next to me.

The first two hours were extremely awkward. Neither of us really said anything, we just kind of plugged into our iPods and phones, and I fell asleep (or tried to sleep, there were a pair of girls laughing obnoxiously behind us, occasionally kicking the seats). Then he texted me a message about the girls behind us, which broke the ice. We just talked and watched the movie that was playing (Up), and it felt really comfortable, like we were just friends chillin together. It felt like the way it should always have felt, without all of these weird moments interrupting our friendship. Anyways, as we watched the movie, we both fell kind of quiet. I was enjoying the movie, and he was sleeping.

I'm still wondering why he did what he did in the moments that followed.

He leaned his head on my shoulder and kept it there for a while. I'm sure it wasn't comfortable; my shoulder isn't the greatest place to sleep on. Anyways, I stayed unnaturally still until he moved his head away.

After a while, he woke up. Then he gave me one of his earphones and we both listened to his music. I don't know how to feel. I really just want to move on, and just be his friend. But when he does stuff like this, it just confuses me. It didn't feel like we were just listening to music; our faces were close next to each other...it was...close in general. I don't know. He confuses me.

Those are the extent of my guy problems. Sigh.

To Rosanna: I'm with Tracy on the headache issue. I really think you need to get some rest, babe. Working hard is good and great, but in the end, you're only human. And again with Tracy, don't let other people define who you are. Cliques can only define a piece of you; the whole Rosanna is so complex and deep that it would be a crime to cover it up. Let your individuality shine, sweetheart.

Tracybabe, I'm glad to see you're back. :] I will definitely give that book a whirl soon. If you ever need to give Nega-Tracy a swift kick in the butt, hit me up and I will perform the act quickly and smoothly. >:]

And to Wendy.

Sometimes we just need the challenge, as you put it. Sometimes the guy who's harder to get is more attractive. And sometimes 17-year-olds fall in love, and to hell with what the rest of the world says.

I say follow your heart. If things don't work out, no sweat. Order up some pizza, turn on a good chick flick, and spend the day wrapped up in a blanket. I find that always helps. Then call up a bunch of girlfriends, forbid them to talk about boys until you start talking, and go do something awesome with them.

I hope everyone is doing well. AP season's coming up; good luck to all!

Love,
Yeana