Darlings....

It is May 9th, but it is 32 degrees in Albany.... weird. Anywho..............

Wendy - I love you, and your fuzzies, and I am so glad that you had a good time at prom!!!! I stalked you A LOT on facebook to see all the pictures.... :)

Tracy - Everything will work out, be yourself. We love you and want you to BLOG!!! lol. :)

Yeana - I am glad you had a good time at prom too!!! I am excitied for this mail you mentioned. :)

So APUSH - I thought it was a fair exam, it wasn't hard for me, but it wasn't easy either..... but its OVER!!!!! And thats all that realy matters. You will do great on the rest of your APs/IBs !!!!!

So my life, has been completely consumed by studying for APs. Legit - I would leave the house at 6:30 in the morning and not get back until 9 at night. I studied my a** off for APUSH and hopefully it paid off, but I will not know until i get my score (especially since we had a timing error where we were given less time on the mulitple choice)

But my Birthday -- oh, how I hate that day. Anywho, It was same-old same old. I got home at 9, my arents had already cut into a cake my friend had dropped of for me when I wasn't hope. They didn't get me anything..... I really thought that everyone forgot it was my birthday. Legit, like I understand why my friends could have because of APs but my family??? ... That just bothers me.

As I have mentioned before I have 2 core 'groups' of friends.... and no one seemed to remember my birthday, but one of them, the one with Sarah and Jillian (...idk if you remember me mentioning them) they threw me a surprise party Friday night (just 8 of us) but it really meant a lot.

I had been so busy, I had not had time to feel...as Yeana was saying. And your blog really resonated in me becasue I thought to this party I just mentioned and I was talking to sarah. She, like me, lost her grandfather, but hers was in September. And as sad as it sounds when we were sitting in my friends room ater I had opened my presents... I asked her if it got easier.... as in missing my grandather. She said that the 1st year is the hardest... and i get that. Because on Wednesday night, the messages that I was listening to, I kept thinking my grandfather's would be the next one... and then it never came. and it made me sad. So basically in the middle of this wonderful party being thrown for me, I bust out into tears, and luckily my friends were there... but (this applies to your post yeana) I kept apologizing about crying. And they said it was ok, that sometimes you feel what you do, and no matter what, you need to feel it. And I know that, you know? But at that moment, in that public place, I didn't ind it acceptable crying. And the sad part is that I know my friends were shocked to see me like this. I had never cried infront of them, and I think I reminded them that I am not 'Superwoman', waht they sometimes reer to me as. I think we all forget that we need to feel, no matter where we are...
-----so thank you Yeana, for your post.

As for Prom: It is on June 5th. What my school does for Junior Prom, is we rent out a cruise boat (only because they want to have control over when we get there and when we leave). So prior to that we really only have to do pictures because they serve dinner for us. (Atleast they do that... a ticket s $65). But pictures is going to be a stressor for me only because I have to got to atleast 2 different places, maybe 3, depending on what Loren's friends are planning. Which (from what he told me was nothing at this point). But then we have after parties to go to. I think we will wind up attending a backyard campout (with 1 group of friends) and the next day do a picnic at the local town park (with the other set of friends) - if this is what Loren is comfortable with.... I haven't talked to him because he has 1. AP Physics tomorrow and is freaking out over it. and 2. today was his 1st Mothers day without his Mom, so i can only imagine that it was a hard day for him and his family.... so thinks are better left until after, you know????

Well, I have homework to do, because I didn't do any this weekend.... whoops. Hopefully this satisies any questions you may have. All my love, I am always thinking about you, and missing you.

Rosie